Safety is an Illusion

I'm a terrible writer. I think people keep a lot of things hidden and never ever express them. I'm sure a lot of you are truly messed up people who want to hurt others.. or you're an innocent person who would never hurt a fly. I don't know what I am..

I do know that lately I have been paranoid. I have an intense fear of this world and its people.. One moment though I see the beauty in life, and the connection between everything.. then I see the destruction and the pain we inflict upon ourselves and others.

Say what you will about gentrification, but have you ever watched the process occur.. I mean take a drive in Atlanta's West End.. Trendy hipster apartments being built and fenced up waiting for tenants while the rest of the neighborhood physically collapses and is condemned, one by one the residents of are being evicted. Everything and everyone is decaying and falling apart but here is this building sitting behind a fence waiting to be filled of people who pay for one months rent than the previous neighbors make in a year.

Is their good in this world, yes.. But is it safe and secure? Never. This is a test really, without getting religious, just think about it and you'll see. Otherwise all that you hold dear can be taken from you at any moment. One day your 9 year old daughter is telling you she's going to play a few houses down.. then you can't find her.. a week later the mother of a 14 year old boy finds your daughters body under his bed.. her body was across the street the entire time, and your 14 year old neighbor raped and killed her.. this actually happened, and many other cases like it.

You are never safe or secure.

Do you care about other people? Or are you out for yourself. Do you see the connection between everything that exists? I think we are all related, and it breaks my heart when we hurt each other in the slightest way... yet it is human.. I have hurt people and they have hurt me...

But lately I feel like someone is going to murder me.