My Clone-having a teenage daughter

Allow me to introduce you to my eldest. She is half of my soul. I love her more than life itself. From the time she was born people couldn't believe how much she looked like me. I have always heard "just wait until those teenage years, it will be a fight everyday" So far (knock on wood) she is still my sidekick in life and the only fights we have is over who gets the last piece of chocolate.

She is crazy smart, and the biggest bookworm you will ever meet. She will rock your socks off at Harry Potter Trivia, and considers herself a feminist. She always stands up for what is right, and is the ultimate perfectionist.

I found out when she was 13 that she had been struggling with an eating disorder since the ripe old age of 11. My daughter, my sweet innocent child, came clean that she had starving herself so she could look "pretty" In her words, she wanted to be so perfect in every aspect of her life. I instantly felt like a failure as a mother. What have I done to cause her to want to do this to herself? How did I not notice? What could I have done differently to prevent this? On the outside, she was always this smiling, happy go lucky, straight A student.

Inside though she was struggling with her self image and that is how she felt in control of life. We had a good long cry that night, and stayed up and talked through everything. Luckily, we had a good friend that had been through the same issues and was able to council her on a weekly basis. I now watch what she eats closer, we talk more about feelings, and life in general. I urge you as a parent to talk openly to your children. No matter how young they are or happy they seem, talk, be a friend and a parent. If you can't find the words to say, find someone who can talk to your kids and they can confide in, whether it be an aunt, uncle, counselor, pastor, youth leader, or friend. Good Luck to you all, this parenting gig is a hard job, but it is the best one out there!