In which I discover a profound and arcane truth that few know!
I used to be that obnoxious guy that...
( I can already hear the jokes: USED?! )
Again: I USED to be the obnoxious guy that stated to everyone's face that having a job, long office hours, stress, hassles of the modern world is not excuse for not doing something you want or is good for your: like going to the gym, or an art fair, or shopping at farmer's market or cooking.
I was all high and mighty about it! You just don't want it enough, I preached.
Dear God, I sucked!!
As it happens, I have embarked on a new job and position that teaches me a few lessons that I sorely needed. Given that all my previous "jobs" were mostly part-time, freelancing type of gigs or me playing poker in my underwear I had not true understanding on what working in a team, having a boss, deadlines and intensive round the clock responsibilities does to a man. It's a shocker!
In breaking news, Raz discovers that working is hard!
It's also interesting to me to observe how work affects my day and my willpower. I see that a lot of things that are not vital get lost: less gym for example. Everything that is not important takes a lot of effort to mentally push myself to do it. I want to cook but when exactly? I should start after but all I want to do is lay down and relax.
Speaking of relaxation: this is not easy. After 8-10 hours of intense concentration the brain does not "just shuts off". It's difficult and again, take a lot of discipline to "turn off" and get back a more idle state.
My eating habits are shit. Just yesterday I devoured a KFC bucket by myself. ( I started pretty happy staring at a huge bucket of chicken and the marvelous garlic sauce...then ended up disgusted at myself ). I drink too much Coke. I generally eat too much junk food. This is not me but I am less able to resists the urges.
It reminds me again of my favorite video to watch and re-watch: David Foster Walle on "This is water".
Especially this part:
how to keep from going through your comfortable, prosperous, respectable adult life dead, unconscious, a slave to your head and to your natural default setting of being uniquely, completely, imperially alone day in and day out. That may sound like
hyperbole, or abstract nonsense. Let's get concrete. The plain fact is that you graduating seniors do not yet have any clue what "day in day out"really means. There happen to be whole, large parts of adult American life that nobody talks about in commencement speeches. One such part involves boredom, routine, and petty frustration.
All this can totally make you a sort of a Zombie.
My conclusion is that, as always, there's a choice. The choice to rise above, organize, get your shit together and fight the inertia. Most of you reading this, already veterans on the job market have found a happy equilibrium ( or, to be mean, have not yet realized that you're working out life away. just kidding. ) but for me this is still early days. Embarrassing to say this at 30 but here it is.
It's also a lesson in empathy for me, and how it is easy to be dismissive and that I should maybe be more careful to try and understand what other people go through before judging them for being fat, unfit, lazy, demotivated, weak. I don't judge, merely ascertain but still. IF I really want to ever be able to help anyone I need to be able to understand them and their lives. This is impossible from a position of lack of empathy.
May this post be a reminder.
How do you deal?
The thing about empathy is that it often requires a taste of the other side (a mile walked in their shoes) to shift one's perspective of 'them' away from oneself.
This is true for many. A few observe and ask questions - and those few get accused of living in their heads (to each their own).
It is pleasant to witness this development of character - this admission to a broadening of one's horizons - that you have engaged in. I know that the pride within us is loathe to provide any sign of acknowledging the flaws of one's past actions. To move beyond that can be a Herculean task.
Yes we do have choices that we can make and they can go a long way to reaching a more comfortable equilibrium.
Pledge to drink at least twice as much water as anything else. If you like your soft drinks - fine - you earn it after a couple small bottles of water. Ideally you would make the switch entirely - as your body's artificially manufactured cravings for sugar would wane.
Cook once for several days. You don't need to eat the same thing 3-4 days in a row. Portion your cooled cooking out into 3-4 containers and store in the freezer. It'll be good for a few weeks. Labels help. How about some stew? Then simply get it out a half hour before warming it and you've your reasonable and more nutritious 'TV Dinner'.
Yes things do get tougher when one becomes a full time wage slave. One should regularly remind oneself of one's desired purpose - and make very small changes toward achieving it. One little thing each day.
Good luck.
this comment is very "pathforger" type :) thanks for taking the time!!
Thank you. Anybody can be a path forger. I'm just the first to call the self such.
Also, you're welcome. ^_^
Work is hard, being happy with less means less working ... hooray!
Get your ass to gym you lazy bum.
Depends on the job, but people also use stress as an excuse to lower discipline. The key might be to simply have, as much as the job allows, a fixed schedule. Wake up at same hour, eat at the same hours, go to the gym that sort of stuff. Discipline and scheduled over motivation or willpower.
haha. thanks for the motivation. trying to find time in my lunch break for gym these days...
Sometimes I think we at best are passion and inertia. Fear and comfort are agents of inertia and when our passions are constantly inhibited we find that the constant friction files down our passion. We become like the zombies you talked about.
Nice post.
very cool perspective :)
at this point of my life, i came to idea that one has to juggle his occupations as frequantly as possible. in the end, like russians say, one can be fed up even with caviar. rich people are miserable, poor, wise,fools (they have their reasons to be sorry for).
...does life worth living? :D
Life is one, as you say, we must take time for what we like, because everything is not work.
We only have to look for time because if we want,we can.
I know exactly how you feel.
Great video,that's the first time i've heard David Foster Walle, what an amazing speech and so true.
Unfortunately it took me 40+ years and a heart attack to realise this.
Glad you did...the irony is that DFW killed himslef recently. Amazing man. Worth watching the move " the end of tour"
Great post
meep
Wallace's speech is one of my favorite too, also reminds Rumi's quote: “Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. "
Most of the time monotonous work, material comfort also is related with the state of the mind. Breaking comfort challenges us to think differently.
Great read my friend, There is one thing you left out of the discussion is when you work for years doing a repetitive job, certain parts of you body develops chronic pain. This is one of the main De-motivating aspects in peoples lives IMHO. Thanks for sharing.