For the longest time I thought this was the way everyone lived. It just hit me the other day if someone is in a bad mood I do not have to listen to their crap and anger dumped on me...it's a long process to unlearn early childhood memories, especially before the ability to communicate through language. A lot of my memories are pre language emotions. I never hated my Mother, I just didn't like her very much, same with the rest of my family. I always felt very uncomfortable around them. I found after I left home that I did not feel that way around other people but I still like being alone.

Part of my practice was to forgive those that hurt me, because in many ways I was just like them until I figured out my anger came from ignorance. This was my way of forgiving and letting go.

I have empathy for your struggle, my Mom died just recently, I no longer participate in family rituals and have no communication with them. I told her I forgave her a long time ago but I will never see her again.

I hope my next life my family can find enlightenment, peace, and happiness. So if I have to hang out with them it will be a nice experience this time around.