I see from previous comments here that you're becoming a magnet for beggars too... I've started flagging them!
You have an interesting life... I love horror too (you already know that) But I disagree with Lovecraft (who's one of my favorites too) I'm more afraid of the known than the unknown. That's why my stories are like they are. Evil is very pragmatic. Stuff like people in robes dancing around on pentagrams and burning black candles is mental illness... people like Denning in my story raping and sodomizing a little girl before he murders her- that's evil! Linda Blair in the exorcist spinning her head and throwing up pea soup is bizarre... a smart bomb going down the chimney of a hospital killing hundreds of women & children- that's horror for me! To me horror is practical, not theatrical. Your education my dear friend, is very interesting- psychology... that should help you understand my writing! Enjoy the new chapter!
Dear friend, I'm agree with you: the real horror is practical, not theatrical. It's for this that I'm not problem to see the most part of horror movies, because it's just theatre, not real life. Horror movies or books usually dont' scare me, it's just the dark side of real people that scare me. A quote that sometimes helped me against my "little" demons and made me feel strong was “Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” by J. Hart (in the "Damage"). Some people don't understand why I love this quote, but it worked for me and so it's enough ;)
About Lovecraft, I think I'll read again, maybe the first time was not the right time to read it for me :D
I love Lovecraft's style... I stole some of it (my use of ellipses) I got from him. I'm as damaged as they come, but I'm not dangerous (Nyah hah hah)