The Lone Wolf Syndrome
I hope I'm not the only person in the world like this... I'm pretty sure I can't be, but I prefer being alone. It isn't that I don't like people, I just don't feel comfortable being around them. I've pretty much always been like that. I've had friends, but I prefer having them one at a time for some reason. I think this is why I like writing so much- it doesn't require any direct interaction. If someone leaves me a comment, that's fine, I have something specific to respond to. As far as going out, or out of my way to establish some kind of social bonds seems somehow false to me. I've noticed over the years that the people that talk the most are the ones that have the least to say.
I really began to notice this when I was in Vietnam. Most other people desired the safety of large numbers of other people. I guess it minimized the possibility of being a target- maybe not, I don't know. I much prefered it when Hue Pham and I were in the bush, silent and focused. The more people I was around, the less I liked it. The same was true afterward. I didn't mind so much interacting on a one-to-one basis, but larger social units seemed to require a level of falseness, for lack of a better word.
As you can imagine, this has made relationships with the opposite sex particularly uncomfortable.
For some reason women seem to require a steady flow of words. This has never been my forte. I had a girlfriend, Catherine that complained that I never talked. I told her to go ahead and start off and I'd chime in after. I guess she expected a monologue or something. My second wife was like that also. She made pretty much the same comment. I told her that I had pretty much told her everything I had to say and asked if she wanted me to start over at the beginning. Were still friends. I don't get it... why people seem to expect a never-ending flow of conversation and why it's always up to me to provide it. My second wife would talk on the phone to her sisters a lot. When they run out of things to say, they just start repeating themselves- they would say the same thing over five or six times. I suppose this is normal behavior. Why do people require a constant flow of chatter?
Mark Twain once wrote: "The more I'm around people, the more I like my dog." I think I now understand why.
well said.
I'm pretty much the same way except for
It isn't that I don't like people,
I do NOT Like people, especially in crowds...
Anything beyond my monkeysphere I avoid as much as I can.
love that term
problem is
Wolves are Social Animals.
cats however...
Crowds don't bother me so much... they're just objects like cars or trees- as long as I don't have to interact. I don't like the ones that stand there expecting you to say something brilliant- I try to think of something obscene or insulting!
crowds are target rich environments for mass shooters
or terrorists.
don't be a target.
They have to have their sights set really low... The only places I go are the donut shop and Wally World!
they're not looking for quality.
they're just looking for people who can't shoot back.
frankly I'm surprised that WallyWorld hasn't been hit...yet.
a terrorist would blend right in...no one would know until it was too late.
I can definitely relate. I mostly chalk it up to the fact that most people are idiots and feel the need to constantly fill the silence with idle chatter to avoid hearing their own thoughts in their head. Personally, I like my thoughts which is why I prefer writing. Gives me a chance to share them with people without having to engage in inane conversation about nothing. It's not really being introverted or social anxiety as I have no problem when I go out talking to people. I just don't care much about celebrities, sports, gossip or any of the other crap most people fill their time and their endless chit chat with.
The precise point I was trying to make (only much better stated- I shouldn't write after I hit the burn-out stage). People seem to expect you to carry the conversation for them and when you're not interested in celebs or that other inane crap... there's something wrong with you!
Your not @richq11 parts this resemble me, I find people seem to be scared of being alone I know we are social creatures and all but people are sooo scared of having nothing to say, apparently if you have nothing to say right away something must be wroong! Thats just not the case we humans can also enjoy just the company of someone without words. And those who are on repeat all the time drive me completely insane!
What bothers me is that the people that have nothing to say are the ones that do the most talking... Like the old saying- The empty barrel makes the most noise!
I guess there must be quite a few lone wolves out there, myself included...I live alone by choice.
Most seem to be men. I've had many people, tell me I'm odd because I don't babble like a waterfall ( it's usually women that comment), but I really don't feel the need.
It's not that I am incapable of participating in conversation, I just don't want to. I keep to the point instead of elaborating every which way and stretching what can be said in five sentences into hours of digression.
I too prefer to write. I prefer to message instead of direct dialogue.
And I definitely agree with Mark Twain...my dogs and I live together quite happily, and understand each other perfectly without incessant chatter ad nauseam.
Well said! I enjoy my Bruno's company... he's easy to get along with and only gets demanding at dinner time or when it's time to go for a walk!
Dear friend, I think we are similar ;) The relationship with my hubby works well just because both love to have our own spaces and when one of us needs to be alone with him/herself, we respect each others.
That's great... It works out better like that. My first wife worked while I homeschooled the kids, when she came home I could go to my space to write (I was working on a book of political theory). It worked well for years.
Maybe our relationship works well also because we married in the "high" age and both we already loved to stay lonely :D
Right as usual!
Its a bit ironic being a lone wolf on a SOCIAL platform LOL. I hear ya though. I can take people up to a point, or leave them. I am never afraid to do my own thing artistically. Like old Merle said, I wear my own kind of hat...
regarding female inability to shut up.
wimmen's wetware is wired differently than men's
they gotta yak-yak-yak among themselves
CONSTANTLY
it's a 'gatherer' thing.
pecking order...etc.
Men, on the other hand
need peace and quite
in order to sneak up on the prey
it's a hunter thang.
our brains are wired that way.
Introverts! Excellent to be one. I'd rather listen than talk - most of the time - so I can relate. We have two ears, one mouth - I tend to use it in the same way. Listen twice - speak once. (Quote from *unknown).
Enjoyed the read - as usual.
ch @globocop
I'm to where I don't even want to listen anymore... most of it isn't worth hearing. Could you imagine spending a day with Britney Spears or some idiot like that???
It would be suicidal if i tried that...
However, I do listen to people with substance - even if not necessarily agreeing.
BTW, Brittney Spears, or short : BS, who's that? 🤣
Some vacuous hasbeen from the 90's!
I know right, then they want you to look at them when they talk to you.
I mean, if we can hear each other is it sooo important to make direct eye contact?
Just because there is a curtain, do they have to pull it aside?
Apparently,....
I must have missed all that in etiquette class,...
I couldn't agree more... and I missed etiquette class altogether! When I look at those insistent people in the eye- I give them the "crazy look" just to make them really uncomfortable!
Lol, yeah, but cultivating that crazy look makes it hard to get a job,...
Life on the edge, not as easy as it looks,....wouldn't be cool if just anybody could do it.
Being a combat vet gives me an edge... I can turn on the "flat look" it scares the hell out of people!
Yeah, they let their imaginations run wild,....and they weren't real brave to begin with,...
Great post- funny - totally get it : )
I kinda sensed that about you, my friend!