The most psychedelic experience of my life

"On the eve of the black sun, you grabbed me by my arm. Floating on my thoughts in a sea of dreams, you pulled me ashore. It was like a knot was tied in the threads weaving together the fabric of time, your reflection suspending me in the eternal latticework of interbeing. Instead of seeing my reflection in your eyes, I stepped into the shadow of my reflection to see you staring back at me.

My shadow self, my Jungian anima, appeared before me and spoke. Whereas I would normally collapse into the imagery of my mind to further embody the dreaming intelligence of the transentient universe I emerge from, the process inverted and transentience collapsed into me through the eyes of another. The universe literally manifested an avatar of my subconscious to relay a message to to me.

I stepped into the emotion-body of loneliness and isolation to hold space for transmutation and I was met with universality and love from the other side of existence. It was something truly unexplainable, and my words here are a mere sketch of what transcended, but nothing has ever so profoundly touched my soul.

•••

It was the night before the eclipse. I stood on the fringes of the stage near the speakers, letting the bass rip through me. I held space for my pain-body and attempted to let every point of tension breathe in rhythm with the music. I walked along the trails of my thoughts until I found myself in isolation, as though the left-hand of my brain held up a mirror and saw nothing but myself. I flipped the mirror around and you waved your arm at me. I stepped back, thinking you needed space to dance, and you grabbed me by my hand. It was like the right hand of the universe grabbed the left hand of my brain. You were Australian, blonde, and it felt like you traveled halfway across the world just to meet me there in that instant.

"Focus," you said.

My eyes met yours and the intensity was staggering. You looked into my soul and read the thoughts straight from my mind, as though the universe itself was directly replying to my conceptual input. Everything you said from this point forward was a direct reflection of the imagery in my mind. I told the universe I was alone, and you told me to look up to the stars.

"No matter what happens, no matter what you think, you can always look up and see why you're here. It's like the stars have been here all along. They show me that I've been here all along, and I see myself in you."

I could barely make out your words as the earth-shattering bass muffled your voice. At first, I was so astonished by your words that I just stood there in shock, gazing at the infinite within your eyes. Throughout our entire interaction, I couldn't even speak.

"What is up there is what is in you. It was made for you. All that power will just waste away if you don't realize it. Step into your strength because this world was made for you."

At first I hesitated to accept the reality of what was happening to me. I was being channeled a message from the deepest parts of myself from someone who traveled from the opposite corner of the planet.

"You know we always look up and wonder if we're alone, if there is life on other planets and such. We spend billions of dollars on technology to search for that life, ultimately forgetting the most important thing."

You smile at me and point down.

"Mother Earth. We get blinded by the stars and forget that life grows right here."

At that moment, it was like I leapt from the edges of my perspectives and the universe caught me. I reached out inwardly, and the universe met me halfway.

"I read a story about this advanced civilization that travels the stars, colonizing every habitable world with its cultures and customs, creating vast networks of interstellar organizations, extending outwardly towards the perceived edges of the cosmos."

You looked at me and smiled again.

"You know why they never reached the edges?"

I looked at you, still just as shook as the moment we met, and then we both looked down.

"Because they forgot where they came from."

You wrapped yourself behind me and pulled me backwards, causing me to flail against you.

"I've got you," you said, as though the words echoed through from the voice of the cosmos itself.

I surrendered into your arms, relaxing every aspect of my existence. The bass rolled through me and purged every bit of tension from my body. My hat fell off and I quickly tried to grab it, compelled by my insecurities. You caught it and quickly held me back.

"Nope, I've got you."

You just held me. I showed you the mess that I am, and you put me back together. I surrendered entirely to your embrace, and you held me until your strength gave out. You taught me to surrender to myself, and to realize my light through that surrender.

We smiled and hugged tightly.

"It's some hippie shit but it's good shit, mate."

You walked backwards into the crowd, smiled at me, and blew me a kiss.

"Love from Australia, babe."

You disappeared just as quickly as you appeared, leaving me in awe of the effervescent synchronicity surrounding me.

I've never been so sure of one thing. The universe, quite literally, has my back.

•••

The next morning, as everyone looked up at our closest star being obscured, I looked down at the Earth, and thought of you."

—we met in the space between