Dear Diary — Am I still a kid?

I laughed as she clarified my age to me. But before all that she kept on asking me why do I like the new girl from this new account in the office production. I did not tell her why, for it sounded a bit too indefinite and uncertain as it wasn't about just something. It was a feeling, and feelings are one of the most difficult things to explain when you yourself have no clue what it is.

"You're still a kid after all," she said. I couldn't agree nor disagree, so instead I let out a healthy laugh of uncertainty. She might not have taken that well, for after all, I am the guru, the sensei, the adviser whom she seeks calm and collected advices from in times like this.

I myself understood what she meant, but I can't deny my impulses, as destiny is not the actual plot of ones' obvious life, but a twist in all of it.

This was a plot twist, although seemingly not a very smart approach, I'm still going to go at this head on. Maybe, wasting my time is the theme of my emotional endeavours. Just reliving a cycle, nothing more. Maybe.

With all fairness, I do see that those who falls for my charms are quite compatible with most of my quirks, but still I go beyond all this understanding just to try and be with the one whom my gut chose.

It is tragic, really, to live in a life where every impulse is considered as a fateful move. What am I destined for? Who am I destined for? I look at myself and know that I'm only playing a role. This, maybe, I should fulfil until, maybe, I break and become all rational with all that is life, and let go of fate.

But for now, yes. I am a kid in love.