Making Friends, Friends for Keeps, and Factors That Make for Lasting Friendships

A bond between people that will eventually lead to friendship always starts with one's genuine interest in others and the willingness to share common things with them. For some, breaking the ice is not as easy as it seems. However, you will find that some people in school, in the workplace, in your neighborhood, and other places of gathering are as willing as you are to start a friendship.

"The more, the merrier," as the saying goes, and indeed, there is so much to gain by meeting new friends. Here are practical ways to help you make friends:

1. Relax your judgement on appearance. First impressions about other people are, most often, not very reliable. A person's seemingly quiet personality does not necessarily mean he or she is a snob. Likewise, do not let your fear of being judged by others get in the way.

2. Always wear your friendly armor. Folded arms, looking at ceilings and floors, and tightly closed lips will send the message "Leave me alone!" If you do not want to look aloof, establish eye contact with others and flash a friendly smile.

3. Begin with simple, even trivial, subjects. The weather is always a handy topic to start a conversation. Plain questions such as "What time is it?" "Is this seat taken?" or "Are you a new member?" seek plain answers that will easily lead to introduction. You do not have to be clever in your conversation. In fact, letting a person know that you are not familiar with something he or she knows about can show your interest in pursuing an honest-to-goodness conversation.

4. Be a good listener. Lending a good ear while a person is saying something only shows that you are interested in befriending him or her. Ask questions every now and then. Remember that your purpose is to discover the person more by the stories he or she tells. A good sense of humor will be an advantage, too.

5. Be yourself. The person is also interested in knowing the real you.

Friends for keeps

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You probably spend a great deal of time with your friends. You meet them in your neighborhood, school, or place of work. Perhaps your friends belong to the same age group as you do, although it is not unusual to see a much younger person making friends with an older group.

The degrees of friendships vary. There are very close friends who treat each other as brothers and sisters. In these friendships, each one knows, understands, and accepts each other's personalities. There are hardly any secrets between them and each one shares in other's successes, failures, and problems. These friends spends as much time together as they can.

Another level of friendship is developed among individuals who spend time together working, studying, and doing other activities. Their interaction, however, is usually limited because they go their separate ways after school or work. They each have a different set of more intimate friends.

Jokes, stories, adventures, and growing up pains are all shared with friends. Friends are always there to give you emotional support when you have problems at home or in school. Friends understand and feel the joys or pains you go through. They cheer you up, they cry with you, they help you with your studies. Some friends would even go out of their way to help a buddy with financial problems.

Factors That Make for Lasting Friendships

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It is not unusual to hear of friendships breaking up. There are instances when two or three individuals once known to be the closest of friends suddenly become the worst enemies. Friendships need to be nurtured with love, understanding, trust, and acceptance.

The following are factors that foster lasting friendships:

• Acceptance- No one is perfect, so learn to accept your friends as they are. Each person has character traits that may irritate others such as being too serious, too frivolous, too short-tempered, or a fault finder. But there are also positive sides to every person. For example, your happy-go-lucky friend is the one who never fails to send your moon flowers on her birthday. Rather than always criticizing a person's negative traits, focus more on a person's positive traits such as his or her thoughtfulness, creativity, industry, or generosity.

• Loyalty - There is what we call fair-weather-friends. These are the kind of friends who suddenly disappear when the going gets tough. Real friends stay with each other through thick and thin, through good times and most especially through bad times.

• Availability - Friends share not only food, books, CD's, or clothes but most especially their time. Friends are willing to listen to personal problems, help in schoolwork, or just be with a friend who needs company.

• Trust - Trust is important among friends. It is what makes one share his or her secrets to a friend.

• Respect - One outcome of friendship is familiarity. Familiarity is being too comfortable with a friend on that one tends to take him or her for granted. An example is when one takes a friend's things without permission. Respect among friends includes keeping one's distance when the other needs to be alone, speaking well of the other and his or her family, and taking care of each other's belongings, especially these that are borrowed.

• Compatibility - Individuals are brought together and eventually become friends because they have the same values and share common interests. For example, a group of friends considers wholesome family life, hard work, and spiritual life important. Another group may consider making money as most important. Common interests may be a hobby, a sport, or involvement in civic or religious projects. Some close friends are neighbors who not only share perimeter walls but coffee and home-cooked food.

^References:

^{https://goodlifezen.com/35-ways-to-create-lasting-friendships/
http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/secrets-to-a-lasting-friendship/news-story/8f6cae560edece586da096a31923c895
http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/12620/1/How-to-Maintain-a-Long-Lasting-Friendship.html
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/making-good-friends.htm}

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