Stop What You Are Doing; "Go Take A Selfie Or Groupie With Mama & Papa, For Tomorrow We Shall Sing Song".

in #life7 years ago

The truth is there were two already typed #untalented contests ready to go; one involved "Sing-Song" and the other involved "Forgive" but since my mum lost life, I never got in the right mood to pull these off. 

The first #untalented contest of the #untalented curriculum started in the months leading up to my mama's lose-life. 

I had heard of her illness and i wasn't with her. I was in an enclosed room by myself and away from her.

I had heard of her two-weeks in a state of "can't-walk-or-talk" and i was away from her and during this period is when the first #untalented contest happened, to also give me strength. 

Every entry then, unknown to these many wonderful enterers was giant to me. Each entry was a breather!

Several #untalented contests happened thereafter but i wasn't able to pull "Sing-Song" off and was bringing up other contests in its stead. 

Then, there came a slight breakthrough moment, when i was told that my mum could walk and talk again and she was seen to be without cancer and she was back at home; and i was about to pop out the "sing-song" part of the untalented curriculum but then, my mum was growing weak again. 

Her subsequent blood-count tests showed her blood levels to be drastically dropping. She was very weak! "sing-song" had to hold again, for i couldn't pull off just the right mood to pull "sing-song" off. 
I ended up doing Untalented-Mama!

I spoke to her during these times and she would hide it all. She would want to care about me instead. In reality, she didn't want my sisters to tell me about her illness. She knew of my deep nature and of how heavily i take things and especially, since i was alone and away, she didn't want me to hit my head on the wall. 

Where i am from, we tend to guard information especially "bad news" a bit too much, for fear not to harm the other party (borne out of intense love), that we end up doing more harm than good. Infact, this sole thing, has done much harm in my household, but we understand. Overall, really deep intense love has lots of hurt in it!

I had noticed though within our video-calls that she had aged so quickly. In the months leading up to these trauma-times, she had aged so fast but she didn't have any hints that it had to do with illness or perhaps, she did but she hid her feelings from us out of love. 

I so so so respect her; women; womanhood; mothers; motherhood!

I had seen her wrinkles and been eaten up by them, just by virtue of the fact that she was aging alone. 

I did wonder though, why it was so fast. 

Little did we know that she had illness in her. And during these few calls, she wouldn't want me to worry about her. However, i noticed changes. She was unusually worried about me; she became extremely caring in her tone and forgiving and she would cry too and her tone was all changing; "like she knew she was leaving"

She checked on me more. She wanted to love me more. 

I couldn't read the signs enough. Instead i was doing calculations and hasting up as my mind kept replaying this: 

assuming life span is 70 or 80 and she is just past 60, i could encounter breakthrough this year and give her "first whispers of good news", then cater to her and spoil her for 10 to 20 more years.

It ate me up that she was wrinkling up and that alone haunted me as i would wander into her brain and mind to wonder on her behalf, how she must feel anytime she looks in the mirror and is told that life's getting shorter. 

She was still very self-conscious. Her dentition wasn't perfect and she did want to fix her teeth, to feel good about her smile and all these was underway at least in my mind's eye. These are simple things that shouldn't be luxury. One mustn't do time in the prison of hell-hole to get these things and this was the suffering she did all along (all the days of her life), but we wanted to adjust that. 

I am still young and i have three sisters and i am already haunted by the thought of losing them. The last time i was with them for 7 days; i would look at them and all i would see is "us" in old age, getting ready to lose each other. 
I do hope we all live till old age but beyond that i do hope that if lose-life is to ever come, we shouldn't be robbed off entirely of our "shine"
"Dignity" is now a heftily weightier word to me.

I tell you, where i am from "suffering" is not in; "i can't eat", "i can't buy data", "i can't wear Gucci" etc. I smile at those things as solvable challenges in a man's life. 

For sure, I will wear Gucci. I will even wear "Terry"

And i don't have data? I will go use all my savings to buy one Gucci and use my last penny to print a proposal and go into a telecommunication company and tell them why i would love data and i will come out with 1 year subscription worth of data. 

My point? There is deeper intenser "suffering" in stolen/crushed or extremely-pummeled "dignity".


Dubai happened and matters where adjusting! I do think those where my mum's happiest moments just before she was told of her illness. It was June and from nothing, i was going to meet with my 3 sisters in Dubai after close to 5 years of not seeing them. It wasn't planned but it happened. We did shopping and laughed a bit and talked of our parents and of our plans for them towards the end of 2017. My mum was to spend a holiday in Dubai, then visit Manila next. Then, next was my dad.

My mum wore the clothes we bought her and i am sure you know how much she loved them but what she loved the most was to see her children together again. Gosh, how she wanted pictures and more pictures (of us)

We started a whatsapp group during this time too, to be together. And my mum would get on steemit to feel some of my presence. My steemit effort still managed to make her a prouder mum still. She loved it

Gosh! You know my mum has always asked for my pictures forever. Gosh, she loved me like crazy. I didn't know how much those pictures meant to her. From young, i never took pictures. I was the only one who never had pictures and even with my mum, i just had a few pictures. 

I was not a happy boy because from young i was too responsible, seeking change for my household that play-moments or selfies held no water. 

Gosh! My mum dug out an old VHS of us (a kids) and she was able to get a playable version of it to send to me:

Please take as many picture moments with parents and family!

I know i shed dem tears writing this but not much because i did heights of trauma, that my owed and unfell tears are coming out in pints now. It's all good. 

Now, tears have even additional essence and never go to waste!


This post is written to inspire. In the very next post, we will be doing an #untalented contest called "sing-song". 

Hahaha, an owed-contest.

I am about to enter and another bout of probable trauma-era but there will be so much loving involved. 

Currently, i have memory lapses when it comes to remembering good moments with my mama. All the moments that replay in my head are the last 16 days that we spent and oh, how i couldn't love her just as much as i would want. 

We couldn't prepare as we jumped from hospital to hospital hours after she arrived here, with hopes, faith and prayers and my lovely mum would constantly tell me that she won't die. 

She was so caring even in her losing-life bed. In most hospitals, there is usually just a small-for-me side-bench to sleep on and she would be concerned all night in the midst of her tired sleep, to see if i am in comfort-state. 
Once, i was going to seek another hospital to handle her case and there was so much traffic etc and she kept calling me, wanting me to return and not stress and try another day. She would call & love & care!

On the day before her death, we were simply waiting to go to a new appointment in a new hospital (at around 6 am the next morning) with new-found hope and almost all night in her sub-conscious mind, she wasn't sleeping because she had hope deep inside her and she kept asking the time to see if it was 6 am yet. 

So there was hope and positivity till the last moment, that there was no chance to say goodbye or prepare to say goodbye. 

There is something more that happened just before she died, that rose hope to new heights again but i will speak of it in another post. In truth, in the life i have done, i sometimes/many-times no longer like "hope".

Next month, I am working on seeing the man I am a replica of; "Mr Ajayi"

He is a broken man and I carry his hefty dreams. In truth people who do my type of life break down. 

My dad went from glaucoma to dementia and dementia in the 5 years that I haven't seen him and till date even in his farthest world away from memory, he still mentions me and his dreams etc 

My mum is the only one who can tame him, but now she isn't here and though I did trauma higher than trauma, i am embarking on this new route to love my dad as much as i can. 

I would be looking to raise money in the next week, enough to bring him here next to me. I would rent a bigger house and i will live with him. My sister will bring him here and stay for one week. 

He is thinking that he is coming to meet with his ever-loving wife but she is no longer. I will be eaten up watching him suffer but i will keep praying that Jehovah heals his heart and perhaps, mine too.

He is in charge of this journey, so no worries. I will be here sharing testimonies that will further fix.

Currently, on the phone, he only wants to talk to his wife. Whenever he remembers that he has been told she that she lost-life, he bursts into wails and his wailing is the sound of 10 hefty men. 

He is strong character; a huge man; a huge being yet....

He loves her more than he loves himself and a major reason he broke down so drastically is:

He couldn't give her skyscrapers.

He licks the plate of her cooking clean because he loves her too-too much. 

And will i keep tell him, she is no more here or will i keep tell him instead, that she hanging out with her brothers and sister and will soon be available? 

Either way is hefty deal of decision-making because i am almost always sincere. I love him too much. I have loved him too much. More recently, my mannerisms are those of my mum (related to her behavior before she passed) but before now, all my mannerisms were those of my dad

I carry his dreams and mine and i tell you; his dream and mine are aligned. Till date, everyone calls him same old name: "Baba Terry".

The masses love him because he carried their dreams too. 

I carry his dreams and mine and that of nations and i break down but i am in a different generation. 

By Jehovah's grace, there will be tons of breakthrough on this journey. 

Thank you very much my steemit family. Everything tiny thing you do on my behalf in this moment is timely, massive, gianormous and i look at it and it is "giant" and my gratitude is in my tiny prayers on your behalf. Thank you for all the deeply-rooted loving support. 

Don't mind my grammar; "truth is way bigger things than proper grammar" @surpassinggoogle

Your Boy Terry

@surpassinggoogle

 

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I do need strength

Dedicating My Entire Steem/Steemit Journey To My Mum

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Wow!! awesome, man I really love what you are doing. to me your lifestyle is just perfect and I really like it. I believe in you and what you have being doing. thanks so much for supporting Nigerian steemians, and the weekly Steemup Record in Nigeria that has being released by me, which you did some weeks back.

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You don't need strength man. I can feel it you are the strongest. Just take from your inner strength!

This really moved me. I lost my mum when I can't really relate with loosing someone so dear. Many times I feel as things would be so different if she hadn't gone so early.

But I relate with your experience more with my dad's sickness and death, the worst part is not the death but this

had noticed though within our video-calls that she had aged so quickly. In the months leading up to these trauma-times, she had aged so fast but she didn't have any hints that it had to do with illness or perhaps, she did but she hid her feelings from us out of love.

Watching someone u love fade away before your eyes is the worst.
I wish I could show him more love and affection during his last days.

This taught me to cherish my loved ones every moments so as not to regret the moments unspent, love shared, words unspoken.

I feel you and feel with you brother.

i am telling you, you grasped all the graspables. That is what i tried to touch on when i spoke of dignity. Really, sometimes i dont know which is better, slow or fast but i keep speechless as the answers are far-fetched of perhaps i deny it. "For a man and one of huge character" watching loved ones suffer, helplessly especially on things that are avoidable even and solvable, kills many things inside. As for strenghth, you spot the spottables too, i do have loads of strength inside. Jehovah put it in there. I feel you in return. Only Jehovah can heal this one. Many have lost dignity when alive and when dying the fight is not equal and a fight by half-humans cos even in clinging on to life, dignity is still robbed. Then, you jsut watch it motionless. This will adjust and this is my route.

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condolence kabayan..Im so sorry for your lost..although we can't control everything but always just be strong be motivated always..we might lost someone important in our life but never try to give up everything has its purpose..

I felt so sorry for your loss kabayan @surpassinggoogle. Condolence from the bottom of my heart. It just reminded me of how hard my sister fought for her life for months in the hospital last 3 years. I understand the pain. Stay strong like you always do kabayan. I am praying for you, your family and for your mother's soul.

Yep switie. May Jehovah heal you

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Thank you

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I really felt so sorry for your loss kabayan. I have been through that and i understand the pain you are going through. Be strong kabayan for your family. And always think that Everything happens for a reason. God bless you and your family kabayan 😊😇

Condolence kabayan. 🙁 I know what you've been through. Just keep on living. Don't give up. I'm praying for you and your family. Keep on inspiring us kabayan 👍

Death is usually not the worse thing in life, the worse thing is when you allow the biggest things in you (love and talent) to die off.

Just yesterday, because of events of losing my loved ones, I picked up my phone and called every member of my family. Not because I am financially buoyant, but because I need to leverage on the NOW-moment.

Songs has a way of healing the mind therapeutically, I guess you need more dose of soul lifting songs.

spoke to her during these times and she would hide it all. She would want to care about me instead.

IMG_20180129_055717_160.jpg

@surpassinggoogle you should know She has lived a fruitful life, leaving behind a kind hearted Mr Terry and Daughters behind . She deserves so much respect as she gave you a good legacy to follow part of which we are all benefiting from and these things will make her to forever exist in our heart.
May Her gentle soul rest in perfect peace.

@surpassinggoogle Kabayan I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is never easy, especially the one who gave you life and brought you out of this world. One may not directly understand and accept the pain of not seeing the love of your life but I do know that she is free from all the pain now. Your post struck me back to reality. That as we are aging, our parents are also getting older and weaker as time goes by. A reminder to us all that we should love our parents and family and make the most of our times with them because time is swiftly fleeting. May God comfort you in this time.

Despite all that has happened, You picked up your self , You have been so outstanding and of good characters. You dedicated your steemit life to your late mother. She wouldnt stop smiling down at you for the man you have grown to be.
You are of good example and have laid a good steps where freely people can follow.
surely she must be proud of you.

Thanks for introducing the #sing-song contest @surpassinggoogle

I felt so sorry for your loss kabayan. Condolence from the bottom of my heart. It just reminded me of how hard my sister fought for her life for months in the hospital last 3 years. I understand the pain. Stay strong like you always do kabayan. I am praying for you, your family and for your mother's soul.

He has a very big heart
I am looking up to him!!!
My mentor! @surpassinggoogle

The saddest part in our life is lossing our love ones. I've been in that state when my grand mother passed away. The memories we shared will be treasured in a lifetime. Her sweetest smile is alive in my mind and heart.
Kuya Terry @surpassinggoogle as you need strength, you showed your strength in us and you inspired us all the strength you have. Love much!💖💖💖

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@teardrops lovely write up..
Makes me to remember my grandma and the pictures I took of her even though her sight is bad..

Is good to take pictures with our mom and dad because there is a saying that pictures speaks louder then words.

BeautyPlus_20180103142740_save.jpg

I and grandma
May God keep us and bless us so as to bless or parents and take good care of them at their old age.

Why are you both just so pretty. Thank you for sharing. It is timely loving and it touched my heart. Thank you

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Awwww thanks so much
God bless you.

Let's go there

My dear Terry,

You know quite alright how very emotional i am and yet you spew out such wonderful sensitive-to-heart contents. I cant stop my tears from flowing now brcause so many times i have taken my mum for granted. I love her too much to even think of losing her. I would embrace her more often now and love her more. More than anything to me, she is priceless😢😢😢.

By the way, i have missed so much from your blog qnd person. I am writing exams so i had to reduce time on here even if i hate to do so. I dropped a few contents on my blog though. You should check them out in your leisure. I would make sure to bounce heavily on your blog to catch up on the tears token updates i must have missed once i finish my exams. Do keep me in your prayers for success. I havent stopped praying for you too. I would even add Baba Terry to my prayers now. May we not all lose anymore than we have already done.
Much love from @aderonkemi💕💕💕💕

I wish you good grades in your exams.

Wow... I read every line and tears rolled down my cheeks... Nothing can be compared to motherly love and loosing a love ones is always hard... This really inspired me and I'll start spending more time with my family because I never can tell what will happen next.... I'm pretty new here but I'm already in love with your blog... Keep posting great stuffs.. Regards

Thank you for all the feelings you gave way to and for drawing inspiration. As for my blogs, its for you, each one, so please read them.. I put all the info there for life and steemit success with love in each one.

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Your deep heartfelt expression of the experiences you gave gone through leaves us with nothing but tears of joy at how much you are committing to give everyone a life here on steemit. Thank you @surpassinggoogle

You are welcome really

As i was reading your post @surpassinggoogle i almost shed tears because i know what it means to lose a loved one. please be strong bro, Everything happens for the best. Pls im so sorry about your beloved mum, accept my condolences. I like you and the good works you are doing, you will surely get rewarded from above.
Below is a pic with my mum
IMG_20180104_141004.jpg

Thank you very much bro

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You are very welcome my mentor.. I wish you all the best bro. And taken.

Wow right now I feel so encouraged by you. I had always thought that you were quite an elderly guy with the kinda stunts you pull on steemit but to think that you are a young guy like me doing all these and reaching the many lives, including mine ,on steemit is just so so inspiring and I think watching that video is just the best way to crown my day today.

Your story is also a very touching one and I pray Jehovah gives you strength . You are indeed a leader and currently ,a lot of people are looking up to you.

Keep up the good work @surpassinggoogle

Yep bro, i am young but very old inside. Hahaha you saw the video. I just saw your comment to somewhere with donkeypong where you mentioned me. Thank you. There will be awesome times. I am working hard and yes on behalf of many but this is my role.

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Always a blessing @surpassinggoogle

Yea bro you need all the mention coz your just so amazing.....

I actually make reference to you in almost all my posts. You are a role model and a rare gem.

Omg! I'm so sorry about your mother. This post almost teared me up. Stay strong, brother, and keep grinding!

Sing song will be amazing!

Yep bro. Thank you for letting yourself feel it. Hope sing song brings some fun into the air

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I hope so too, bro. We're al going through one thing or another. Sing song is exactly what we need!

Take some @teardrops token Terry.
Life is not under our control.

So true. And alot we cant even answer. Thank you. Taken

Can't wait for the sing song thingy coming. It's gonna be mind blowing.

Hahaha, it will be simple but let's see what we will create

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ME TOO IM Currently unsteady, the Cells in my body are warming up.