10 Things You Didn't Know About FacebooksteemCreated with Sketch.

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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10 Things You Didn't Know About Facebook

While we're all having a swell time on Steemit, most of us, lets face it, still visit Facebook now and again; if for no other reason than because none of us have the time to stalk our exes in person these days. Here are some lesser known facts about the social media juggernaut that lie somewhere on the scale between almost interesting and almost true:

facebook.jpg

  1. The average Facebook user checks Facebook 16 times a day. As a point of comparison, the average Steemit user checks Steemit 16 times an hour to see if the fucking site's back up and running yet.

  2. You can't block Mark Zuckerberg on Facebook. I think I speak for everybody when I say I'm sick of seeing his videos of that talking animated penis pop up in my feed. Oh that's just his face? Nevermind then.

  3. The 'Like' button was initially going to be called the 'Awesome' button. Other rejected names include 'Fuck Yeah', 'I'd Tap That' and 'I don't really give a shit about your dinner/cat/baby, but the rules of social propriety dictate that I provide some meaningless validation of your existence here.'

  4. Mark Zuckerberg receives only a $1 yearly salary as the CEO of Facebook. And the kids working at the sweatshop I run think they've got it hard.

  5. Facebook has over 2 billion active monthly users, narrowly beating out the previous record held by your mom.

    face.jpg

  6. There are over 50 million dead people on Facebook. In fact, 10,000 Facebook users die each day, which begs the question: why don't we save all these people by taking down the site?

  7. The main color of Facebook is blue because Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness. At least he'll be able to clearly see my balls.

  8. Facebook is responsible for 1/3 of all divorces in the USA, making it the number 1 source of marital break ups in the country. So if you're trapped in a loveless marriage, using Facebook is by no means a guarantee; you may have to resort to more drastic measures such as fucking the mother-in-law.

  9. Facebook tracks the sites you visit even after you sign out. You can imagine how inconvenient that is for someone like me where my roommate always borrows my laptop to visit porn sites right after I check up on how well my ex is holding up following our recent break up 4 years ago.

  10. You can change your language on Facebook to 'Pirate'. Doing so will rename your news feed to 'home port', friends list to 'crew roster' and trending topics becomes 'popular booty' etc. Clever eh? Now, if they really had a sense of humor, they would have offered braille as an option too.

Well there you go, hope you all learned something new about Facebook. With this information, you can all become billionaires by travelling back in time to 2005 and investing in the company, so what are you waiting for?


References
30 Facts you didn't know About Facebook!
15 Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Facebook


Images from pixabay.com


If you enjoyed this piece, please Upvote, Resteem and follow me @trafalgar, especially if you believe non steemit/crypto related articles are good for the platform. Also, check out my new account @traf for short one liners and memes.

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It was worth the 3 attempts to vote and post a comment for this line alone....

Facebook has over 2 billion monthly active users, narrowly beating out the previous record held by your mom.

Fucking hilarious. 😂

haha yeah I can get really mature like that :)

Is your mum on FB, Perc?

My Mum doesn't even have WiFi babe let alone Facebook.

It got ways better though the last days. Doesn't take 10 attempts anymore 😉

Ya but how would you invest in the company? They’re not interested in your $10. Instead, save up to buy bitcoin in 2009 from Satoshi on the forums :)

Yah..agree..bitcoin for less than a dollar..2008? My 100 dollar was worth 100BTC..my 200 dollar will be worth more than 200 BTC..what a nice life i could have been..if i discovered BTC earlier...lol
300BTC times 6558 dollars..thats 1967400 times 50= P98,370,000..

Btw, Bitcoin's block chain does not go back to 2008.

That’s an insightful article in a very humorous way!

thanks a lot htliao :)

Could you do a

10 Things Facebook Knows About You.

hmm probably not a bad idea, maybe one day :)

Haha your humor is spot on lol ! Made me crack up for each point 😂

and theres a thing called Legacy contact
"You can nominate someone to take care of your facebook when something happens to you" :)

haha yes I guess it's wise to plan ahead when you're a pirate like me who's likely to walk the plank one day

such interesting info, I didn't know Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green colorblindness .. and also feel like steemit it so much better today .

better yes, still took me a few tries to post a reply here hehe

it was like that for me for the past days ,and but now I can post super fast! Can u guess it's pretty exciting for me ..lol

Lol. This is hilarious. Now, where's my delorean...

I'm borrowing it to stop zuckerberg's parents from ever meeting

Hahaha.I enjoyed the laugh.
Upvoted and resteemed :-)

thanks a salways lichtblick