You should jump off a bridge...just because everybody is doing it

Being aware of certain things is getting more and more difficult everyday. I get constant reminders on how my perspective is not working out for most of the people I know and they are getting me a hard hard time about it too. Just this morning I was told by my mom the same old phrase – if 50 people think differently than you, you must think wrong! Wow, what an idea to pass around right? Well no, mom. If 50 people think or believe one think and one person doesn't it doesn't make either of them right just based on the number of people that holds this one idea or believe. It's rather what is being said or the thought that you have that determines if something is true or false. And this is not some complicated science but common sense.

I remember similar argument being made by my parents when I was growing up instead the underlying message behind the question was true. I don't know if in any other parts of the world parents used this analogy or if this was just a Yugoslavian idea out of the 80's and 90's but if my parents wanted to teach me how to decide for myself and take responsibility for my decisions they used the metaphor of jumping off a bridge. Our conversation went like this: I usually wanted something from my parents and the most common argument I made was this and this friend also has it or can also go somewhere or etc. Then they said: »if your friend or FRIENDS (maybe 50 mom?) would jump off a bridge would you do it too (just because they are doing it)? And I thought about it really hard and decided that I would not jump off a bridge just because everybody is doing it but rather to find my own reasons for doing things in life in general. They were pleased with my response and we usually made some kind of a deal or compromise.

Looking back on that, of course they wanted me to learn how to think for myself, decide for myself and act accordingly with that. So, what happened? Why the shift? Why is my mom today, almost 20 years later saying the complete opposite of what she helped me realize years ago? Not knowing the answer bothered me for some time but thankfully in this moment I know the answer and I can understand it. She's all the time living in fear. She's listening to the stuff I say, sees how I live my life, how I want to be free, how I want to raise my son and she knows I will never give up on that. That scares her so so much because on the other side she is realizing how »unpopular« this path really is, so she is afraid for my well-being, financial security and so much more stuff the television programs into her mind to the point when she forces me to think and live the way everybody she knows does. To just fit in and pretend to be happy with it. But I already know better folks so I'll just stick to thinking for myself and doing things for the right reasons. Maybe even jump off some bridges, who knows!