The First Step..

photo courtesy of pixabay

   When our oldest son was younger (when I was a single mom) he was in and out of youth treatment centers.  He was in and out of trouble at home, and I thought for the safety of his two other brothers he needed help, so he was placed in placement centers from about the age of 14-18.  He knew the systems though, he knew in order to get home he would have to do good for a while.  Once he was good for a while, he was allowed to go home.  He would be home for a while and then he would get in trouble.  It was a vicious circle.  We had family counselling and nothing seemed to sync in.  He was "forced" to do these things, he never volunteered or said he had a problem.

Once he got older, I knew that once he was passed 18, he would be charged as an adult and would or could possibly end up in jail or even prison. He was released home and he started up his bad behavior. I contacted his dad and told him the whole situation and how I was afraid that he could go to jail or prison. So his dad came and got him!!! He was taking prescription pills (that were prescribed to him for mental issues)when he wanted to take them because they gave him a "high." I believed the state and their "system" that they were looking out for the best interest of the child. His dad and our son ran into some issues but his dad IS the dad and his dad made him realize what he was doing wrong and punished him.

our son, photo is mine

 Our son turned 30 this year and has two children of his own.  He is in the process of getting a divorce from his 2 wife and with this wife, she loaded up her and their child and her other two children from two different relationships and left him!!  Our son felt sorry for his wife and was giving her his checks when he got paid (every week.)  It got to the point where our son quit his job (which he got back)lost his pickup, camper and boat and he became homeless.  We're helping him out with a vehicle through a buy here, pay here business and he's making the payments.  He sleeps in his car to save up money to get an apartment.  Recently he has been in contact with a lawyer to get support of his daughter, because he until this weekend has been giving her $40 every week and apparently that goes to her drug habit.  She and the children are living in a camper at her families.

I think all my speeches over the years about the only way he is going to get the help he really needs is when "he" admits he has a problem. Before some one else was telling him he "had to" get help, he was forced into it. Now he is finally admitting he has a problem and knows he has to seek help to get his daughter. Besides the lawyer he's getting he's also going to AA meetings voluntarily.

So, our son is taking "The First Step" in getting his life together and hopefully get his daughter!! Also seeing a lawyer, his first wife is letting him see their daughter.

our son and his daughters at his 2nd wedding...photo is mine