I never had a chance to get to know her more closely, someone who has until now been an inspiration in my life. Rama, a name I can never mention, for some reason I do not know, he may be too perfect for me, he is good, smart, handsome, sholeh, who does not like him, I may be only a few lucky people who know him not too close, he smiled at me but I was too stiff to reply, I was too cold for his warmth, I was too hard for his gentleness, I'm someone who admired him in silence, I prefer this, I prefer to see it from a distance, pay attention to his behavior from behind pile of books while he's in the library. Until one day I saw him smiling with someone I knew, my friend ifa, "wishing you happy" only a word that I can say, I have no right to forbid them, to vent my disappointment on them, they do not know I admire him.

"Okha !!" a voice from a distance calling me as I was leaving,
"Yes, why, I hurry, cepet" I reply cold as usual
"You go home alone yes, I want to walk first with rama" I guess that's what he will tell me I just reply with a smile and leave it behind. Disappointed, but what is my day, I am very inversely with my best friend, ifa beautiful girl, kind, friendly, smart and fun, while I? Cuek, cold and do not like grooming like ifa.

This morning I left as usual. With a leisurely pace I passed the school alleys, this morning breeze happily played the tip of my hijab and invited her to fly small together. Today I heard bad news in my ears, I heard rama and ifa broke yesterday, why ?, maybe I will ask later when ifa come.



Sure enough ifa comes with a clear grain on his eyes and cheeks. "Why fa?" I tried to calm him down and invite him slowly to explain the problem that made my friend cry.
"I broke up the same yesterday, I do not know him why like that, but he said, actually he has liked other women since 7 years ago"
Ifa explanation makes me more confused with this problem. "Maybe this is best for you fa, you are strong dong ... there is me" I said to ifa to strengthen it.

After hearing the curse of ifa, I intend to put the printed books that I bring to the desk drawer, but what makes my printed books can not go in as usual, what's in the way? I see my favorite blue wrapping box, "who's this one?" I asked ifa sat seang with me, but ifa did not know it, I tried to open it and seen a wooden box containing mukena and the Qur'an in
"who put this in my desk drawer?" The question was circling in my brain only a piece of paper that read "someday, when I can not take care of you real, I hope Allah always protect you beautiful angel "what is the meaning of these words ?.

A week after the breaking of the rama and ifa, the rama became more cheerful than usual, he became more uncharacteristically unlucky, I myself wondered he made it, "you no longer hurt it ram?" I asked the rama when he joked with me in the park, just laughed done rama when I asked the question to him. Maybe he has changed already? Or there is a reason what I do not know.
"Okha, go home together yuk" tumben what a rama took me home with him? But because of me
there was an appointment with ifa to accompany her to the bookstore, so I refused it as smoothly as I could.

"Okha, you go to the rama house now, rama await you" a short message that I received from the senses of a cousin who lives next to rama. Without thinking I went straight to the rama house and what I saw family and friends of rama were also there. I say hello to everyone there. Indra immediately asked me to come in and escort me to the front of a room where there was a group of people. "What's this dra?" I asked the senses that still stood beside me. "Go in" only one word that the senses pronounce and attract me to enter.

Rigid lifeless body, smiling in his long sleep. A middle-aged woman hugged me and cried on my shoulder, "she loves you so much" the soft whisper of the woman made my heart more slashed and weak in the presence of someone I admired so much.
"You go before you say it ram?" I asked and the grains nodes no longer power I dammed. Can not believe this is happening, the length of our waiting, end here? Wake up ram, wake up ... !!, my ego rebelled, why did not I accept a rama invitation, why I was never sensitive to his feelings, why am I making him wait too long ?, guilt raging in my heart.

Now the rama has been buried, and I was so devastated by all this, I chose to the garden where I last met rama.

"The accident happened when rama was crossing the street, instead of paying attention to the way he was cool to see the doll he just bought and about the box in your drawer, it's also from the rama" bright senses while giving a teddy bear brown with rolled letters and worn around the neck of the doll. I hugged his doll and read a small letter around his neck.

To: okha
Okha, I'm sorry I'm too afraid to reveal my racial
I'm afraid when I reveal it you will even stay away from me
I love you okha, I love you
I Love You OKHA FARADILLA

"Ramaaaaaaaa" I shouted to slightly reduce the burden on this heart, too soon you go ram, I have not had time to say anything to you. But this is destiny and maybe this is best for us. Good luck rama, may be quiet there, I also love you ram.