Why I am pretty darn positive that Love is all there is.

It has been some time that I have wanted to share this experience with others as, aside from the birth of my son, it has been the most profound thing that has ever happened to me. It has been the guiding force that keeps me attempting to focus all my energy on loving others and letting go of fear and anger in even the most challenging of circumstances. An experience, that with out a doubt, has left me positive that Love is the most important and primal instinct we as humans possess. This is also an experience that has completely awakened me to the healing powers of psychedelics (This is where I start getting the weird looks). Which is why I haven't tried explaining this to too many other people.

The setting of this experience was along a stretch of beach on Oregon's North Coast. I was living in Portland at the time and a friend had invited me to camp with him and another on the beach for the weekend. I was very excited as I had yet to see the Pacific ocean, and besides a few camp outs on Lake Ontario, I had never slept on the beach over night. What I did not know about the Northern Pacific coast, is that it rains every night with out fail. A light, almost misty, but incessant drizzle that will soak you through to the bone.

When we arrived, my friend and his buddy set up their tent. I had my own to set up, which I insisted I would do before dark, but I wanted to check out the ocean. By the time I came back from wandering up and down the beach my two acquaintances were already sitting by a campfire relaxing. I sat and we began to talk. Both of my friends had taken some mushrooms and offered to give me some. I did not know this until after, but my buddy's friend had quite a large amount that he was looking to get rid of at a festival we were heading to after the weekend at the beach. So when I refused to take them for free and insisted that he took ten bucks, he gave me somewhere between three 8ths and a half ounce. I immediately started munching.

I had no fear of functioning to put up my tent with a little buzz as I had done so many times before. Well, I don't know if they were just that strong, or it was the combination of the crashing waves, the mesmerizing fire and the picturesque surroundings, but I was floored rather quick. I could not see past the visuals that were going on inside my head for some time. What I do know is that I unconsciously continued to munch on that bag until it was nearly gone, simply enjoying the state that I was in, unable to come out, which was fine by me. It wasn't until the tide had encroached on my position, completely extinguishing the fire and soaking me, that I realized that my friends had already retreated to higher ground and were fast asleep in their tent.

Soaked and shivering I tried to put my tent up at this point, but it was absolutely no use. I was not experiencing a simple little trip, I was tripping the hardest I have ever tripped on mushrooms. I knew enough that I was soaked and covered in sand, and that crashing into my friends' tent a jabbering mess was not an option, even though I am sure they would have helped me. I DID NOT however have enough sense to realize that simply laying my tent and tarp inside the depression between sand dunes was pretty much the opposite of sheltering myself during one of these soaking rains.

So, down went the tent, and down I went in to fetal position where I lay shivering until the mushrooms again took complete control of my psyche. During this time, I was completely consumed by thoughts of my friends and family, people I admired, people I feared and people who I detested most. But along with this was THEE MOST overwhelming and powerful sensation of love that I have ever felt in my entire life.

During the night I would occasionally come to, long enough to realize that the little pool I created and was laying, shivering in was filling up. I had to position a bunched up section of tent under my head because at one point, it was the fact that my face was half submerged and I was choking on water that brought me out of my stupor. The rain collected until the majority of my torso was underwater. At this time, the fluid inside and the fluid outside my body must have acclimated, because I could not tell you how many times I freely wet myself. None of this mattered though as I would near instantly drift back to this place of unconditional and overpowering love which felt better than anything I can describe.

I came to the next day, coaxed by the warmth of the rising sun, astonished that I was alive. What was more astonishing was that I felt better than I ever have before. Better than after a visit to a spa. Better than after a visit to a masseuse. Better than waking up from the best nights' sleep. I could have drowned. I probably should have gotten hypothermia (this was September). If I spent the night in those conditions under any other state of mind I would have been in awful shape. I felt absolutely amazing. I took a dip in the ocean to get the sand off me, changed my clothes and felt more refreshed than I ever have felt in my entire life.

The point of all this: I am certain it was Love that provided this experience. Obviously it was the mushrooms that brought it on, and if I hadn't eaten so many I probably would have been more miserable trying to deal with the situation at hand. But I couldn't deal with the situation. The best I could do was simply Be. And that evening, the only thing my mind was Being was the all encompassing warm envelope of Love.