Love not enough but crucial
Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's not negotiable, though its not enough. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you are at risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a cultural believe that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love, you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture idea of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. We now think it is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.
One consequence of such ideas is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing our idea is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach to love to repel depression.
Strategies on how to get the best out of life and love
- Recognize the faint line difference between limerance and love. Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts
out as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love. - Recognize that love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Its an act of will.
- Learn and adapt good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.
- Focus on the other persons need. Rather than focus on what you are getting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. What does this person really need for his/her own well-being? Of course, you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doing
enough self-care.
In the feeling of love happy valentines day to all the lovers.
Thanks for stopping by.
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