3 Big Lies about Falling in Love

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: A handsome man walks onto a beach (or into a coffee shop, or onto a train, etc.) and sees a beautiful girl. Their eyes meet and they smile at one another. It’s love at first sight! Cut to a montage of dinner dates, Christmas parties, couple trips, until finally the man gets down on one knee and asks her to marry him. She says yes, and the credits roll.

Our culture is head-over-heels in love with love. We see it everywhere; in books, movies, music, even in our gum commercials! Christians aren’t immune either, just ask anyone who’s ever read Amish fiction. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with celebrating romance, there is a huge difference between real love and the idea of love. Just ask Relevant Magazine’s Rachel Watson, who believes our culture is falling for several dangerous lies about love. She writes,

Lie: You Will Be Happy Once You are Married.

“In other words, tough luck, singles. You’re missing out. Only married people know what true happiness is. But waiting for happiness, whether you are single waiting for marriage, married waiting for children, or married waiting for your spouse to change, is idolatrous territory. When we hold our joy captive until we get what we want, a vicious cycle of discontentment begins. God calls us to be content right now:

Lie: Love Fixes Everything.

“In films, love is the answer. Characters' lives could be falling apart, their planet on the verge of collapse, until they meet ‘the one.’ Suddenly problems vanish. Love is all you need, right? Real life is different. Love as he might, a husband cannot always comfort his wife out of post-partum depression. A wife cannot simply hand her husband confidence after he loses his job. When we expect our spouse’s love to solve all of our problems, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Though it sure makes them easier to endure, love can’t make trials disappear. Love is powerful, not omnipotent.”

Lie: It’s All about You

“Christians pursue community. This principle applies to dating couples, just like it applies to every other Christian. As Christians, we are part of God’s family, and we allow other believers to speak into our lives. Dating couples are called to let other Christians speak the truth in love to them. This doesn’t mean that they hang out exclusively in groups, or only in the context of their extended families. It simply means that they open their lives up to other believers.”