The measurement of love is to love without measure.
It is not a matter of who loves most or who express it better because the measurement of love is to love without measure.
Like you, I have been to toxic relationships. And I cannot always tell that I was caught up with a toxic partner because somehow along that journey, I became toxic as well. And like you, I have questioned love on why it has to seem the greatest yet the most treacherous feeling of all.
The nights of my teenage life were spent mostly on guessing whether my partner loves me better than I do, and on wondering why it has to be that way. Well, along with the heartbreaks are our lessons. And so I learned that each one of us has our own language of love and if you're caught up with the wrong person everything would seem unfit, like you are trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle with wrong pieces. And I tell you, with the right person it feels completely different. You speak the same language of love. And if not, you would completely understand the other without being muddled about it. That's how love works - knowing the similarities and differences and continually growing with that person.
I am not saying I have mastered the art of love already but I'm saying I am continually growing and becoming better with the right person.
Most of the time, love is not willing to be understood. And more often than not, love is chaotic. But underlying in its very essence is the purpose of growth and life. And thus, everything where love grows, there is life.
Gone were the nights when I cry myself to sleep. Gone were the days when I wandered through the limited memory lanes of what should love felt like. Gone were those times when I would frantically wait for an explanation. Gone were those moments when I felt I had loved too much and I was loved too less. I basically just had to accept that in love, it's not just about you or your feelings. Being in a relationship has to mean that two of you would contribute to a mutual understanding. There would be lots of unspoken words and yet silence would bring the messages right into your hearts, both of you. With the right love, you would feel comfortable and most of the time sleep well in the night.
Well, not almost every night is a "Sleep tight don't let the bugs bite.". There would still be nights that would be, "We'd rather talk this through tomorrow. You are being unreasonable. I'm tired." or you would receive nothing and that aches you more because it would leave you wondering. Even with the right person, right time and right love, there would always be misunderstandings.
Love may be perfect in its innate nature but not human beings. And so, arguments comes into the picture. Emotions like anger and love are two powerful emotions that would either make or break a relationship. And since, both of you are the captain of your relationship, you won't let any wave sink your ship. You must navigate through it and ride with the waves, learn to understand that differences like waves in the ocean are inevitable. You two knew that in the beginning of your getting-to-know-each-other. You went through your likes and dislikes and agreed to accept and love each others' flaws and idiosyncrasies.
Everything seems nice and sweet in the first few months or maybe years in your journey. But as you go along, sometimes the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" sinks in. But whether the excitement is gone, love should remain. It may not be the same as before but it will still be love. Love also grows and it grows with both of you. It transforms to deeper commitment. Love becomes respect rather than excitement. It would become lifetime commitment rather than daily hugs and kisses. And in the end, you will realize that no matter how much effort or time you invested to understand and measure love, it just can't be. Because, the measurement of love is to love without measure.
And don't even bother look for love. It is a treasure more precious than what pirates are seeking for.
This has been @nikkabomb saying, "Do not seek for love as it does not want to be hunted. It will find you, instead."
Before ending this blog, I want to thank you first for stopping by and I hope you had a good read. Second, all the photos that had been posted in my blogs (except for google images which I have duly credited for, if there is any) are all captured by me and my partner. And so if you happen to have Facebook account, I hope you all visit our page, Click PIT. We offer photo shoot services for any events that may fall on weekends. I hope you will take time to visit our page and if you seem to like it, please do hit the Like/Follow button. That would mean so much and I thank you in advance. We would still be uploading more of the photos we took from last year as we are not yet done organizing our folders for postings. You would also expect more photos for this year's upcoming events like fiestas, weddings, birthdays, christenings, etc. Once again, thank you so much.
Nikka Ganzan, the author
I was destined to be a successful civil engineer but my heart belongs to literature. And if I have learnt something from the past years of struggles, it is maybe this - "Sometimes a leap of faith is what you need in order to find happiness. Because if you are not to become a happy person, then what's the purpose of life then?".
I tried working in an industry with the use of my maximum skills in my chosen field and I was earning big (bigger than what I expected), yet I was not happy. In between those times, I found deeper and stronger interest in my first and second love - writing and photography.
And so here I am, in my little corner in the blockchain. I hope you had a good read and check out more here ---> @nikkabomb. Lovelots.
Oh how sweet naman 😍😘