12 Peculiar Ways to Get Over Your Ex

Getting over an ex honestly feels like dismantling a tiny universe within you. One day, you’re orbiting their world, and suddenly you’re free-floating, untethered in a kind of emotional space. It sucks.

But listen, there are ways out of this, peculiar ones you wouldn’t expect, ways that don’t involve eating ice cream on the couch or deleting every last photo.

Some are deep, others are weird, and a few will make you think, “What?! That’s crazy!” But trust me, I’ve been in the trenches.

So let’s get into it: 12 strange, never-spoken ways to get over your ex—NOT the cliché stuff.

1. Schedule your heartbreak, literally.

This one’s nuts, but it works. Treat your pain like an appointment. Set aside 30 minutes a day where you let yourself fall apart. Cry, scream, write them letters you’ll never send, or listen to that one song that DESTROYS you. But once the timer’s up, you stop. You get up, wash your face, and do something totally unrelated. This compartmentalizes your grief, so it doesn’t sneak into the rest of your day and ruin you. Marcus Aurelius wrote in his Meditations: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Take ownership of the grief, don’t let the grief take ownership of you.

2. Burn something beautiful.

I’m serious—this is cathartic. Find a symbol of that relationship—a love letter, their favorite book, a playlist they made for you—and destroy it. Ritualistically. Fire is powerful; the ancient Greeks even saw it as sacred, something that purified and renewed. When you watch those fragments turn to ash, it’s like watching the bond die for real. But, careful, don’t burn the apartment down, okay? Just enough to let the flames consume what clings to you.

3. Befriend your pain. Literally say “hi” to it.

This one is about reframing, almost a Buddhist approach. They teach that pain is not something to suppress or fear; it’s a teacher. When you feel that ache creeping in, don’t run. Instead, breathe in deeply and acknowledge it. Say, “Hello, pain. What are you trying to tell me right now?” While this sounds ridiculous, it’s transformative. You shift from seeing pain as an enemy to seeing it as a guide. Rumi said, “This being human is a guesthouse... welcome and entertain them all... each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”

4. Stop erasing them; make peace with their ghost.

People tell you to move on as if forgetting is the answer. But what if forgetting isn’t the goal? In some Native American tribes, they believed a part of anyone you deeply love stays with you forever. Instead of trying to scrub them out of your heart, reframe your memories of them. They don’t have to be all bad or all good. They’re just... part of a chapter in your story. C.S. Lewis wrote in A Grief Observed: “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.” It's paradoxical but true: let them exist in your memory without letting their absence dominate your present.

5. Relearn how to laugh – outrageously.

Here’s something insane: force yourself to laugh. Even when you don’t feel like it. Guests of Roman philosopher Epictetus used to laugh at ridiculous things just to remind themselves of life’s absurdity. Try it. Stand in front of a mirror and do the most over-the-top, obnoxious laugh you can muster. At first, it’ll feel stupid, but soon something shifts. You’ll start laughing at how dumb you look, and before you realize it, genuine happiness might sneak up. Fake it ‘til you make it, because laughter does something crazy to your brain—it literally rewires you.

6. Talk about love like it’s dead.

Here’s one no one tells you: sometimes you heal faster by dramatizing the loss and giving it closure. Write eulogies for the relationship as if it were a person. In medieval England, people held mock funerals for heartbreak, burying symbols of a love lost. It’s like telling your brain, “This chapter is over,” but in a symbolic and playful way. If Shakespeare can bury Ophelia in verse, why can’t you bury your ex? Mourn them. Cry it out. Say goodbye like you mean it. Then, leave flowers at Love’s funeral and let it go.

7. Go 48 hours without using the word “ex.”

How you speak shapes your reality, and the more you give them airtime—even in your thoughts—the more they stay alive in your world. Challenge yourself to go two straight days without even uttering their name or referring to them. This trick sounds tedious, but it’s incredible how powerful it feels to reclaim the space they took from your vocabulary.

8. Fall in love—with the audacity of the world.

The world is crazy. It doesn’t stop spinning just because you’re grieving. Sometimes the best way to heal is to fall in love with things outside yourself: the golden arc of the sun, the crinkle of autumn leaves, the strength in your legs as you climb a hill. Friedrich Nietzsche once wrote, “For those who were seen dancing were thought insane by those who could not hear the music.” So start dancing. The music is everywhere.

9. Pretend you’re an ex they’re trying to get over.

Reverse the script. Right now, it feels like they hold the power to ruin you, but think about it: What if you’re the one who’s hard to forget? Imagine how they’d talk about you to their friends: “Man, I screwed that up...” It’s a little egotistical, sure, but flip that narrative. You’re not the one left behind. You’re the one who got away.

10. Bless them, even if it breaks you.

This one’s counterintuitive and infuriating, but if you can manage it, holy crap, it heals. Every night, say, “I wish them peace and happiness,” even if you don’t mean it. Not for their sake—for yours. The Bible says in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Now, your ex isn’t an enemy, but this teaches you to replace bitterness with something softer. It feels impossible at first, but it’s like lifting weights: the more you do it, the lighter the emotional load becomes.

11. Become obsessed with one impossible task.

Channel the chaos of heartbreak into something unrelated, but huge. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn French or run a marathon. Now’s the time. The existentialists believed that throwing yourself headlong into the absurd—pursuing meaning despite life’s meaninglessness—would save you. Albert Camus wrote, "In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." Build that invincible summer. Let the challenge distract and reconstruct you.

12. Imagine your future self writing you a letter.

Sit down and picture yourself in five years. Write a letter to your current self from their perspective. What advice would future-you offer? “Hey, I know this feels like the end, but listen, there’s someone waiting for you out there—and boy, are they better for your soul than this last one!” It sounds corny, I know, but seeing yourself beyond the pain draws a roadmap for how you’ll get there.

Look, there’s no one-size-fits-all way to get over someone, especially if they’ve left fingerprints on your soul. But the next chapter of your life is waiting, and trust me, it’ll be richer and brighter than the one you’re leaving behind.

The poet Mary Oliver once asked, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Whatever your answer is—make it yours. That’s how you win.