Love Is On The Net!

in #love6 years ago

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Edited by me. Photos by pixabay.

Introduction

Some of you might know that I'm not the lucky person when it comes to dating and all of stuff related to this. The worst part about being not lucky is probably that I'm not gonna give up that easily... Yeah, I'm as stubborn as a mule and that's the main reason why you can read this post. I decided to take dating to the XXI century and I installed few apps. Let's compare them and then I will share my opinion about them with you.

Three Musketeers

I told myself that I won't go crazy with the number of dating apps because I don't have enough time to waste half of my day on swiping through girls and replying to simple and very often stupid one-liners like: "Hello. How are you?"

OkCupid


Source: Official OkCupid YouTube Channel

The first app I've tested was OkCupid. Shout out to @suesa for checking out my profile, description and for telling me if I should change something! OkC works in freemium mode, it basically means that you have access to very basic functions of the app or website for free and you have to send bag of virtual money to the company which stands behind it to get all of the cool options like being able to see if your victim lady has read the message from you. I also found out that you have to waste a lot of time to answer to stupid questions like:

  • Do you like taste of beer? (who doesn't?)
  • Which is bigger: The Sun or The Earth? (The Earth cannot be bigger than The Sun because it's flat, right? lol)
  • Do you believe in dinosaurs? (What the firetruck?)

All of your answers are used by OkC to count your stats like: more kinky, less political, less confident, more artsy, less sloppy, more nerdy, more good-natured, more suave, more adventurous, more optimistic, more romantic etc. They are also used to count the percentage of parameters called "match" and "enemy".

It also has that stupid option of swiping through people, but it's better than Tinder's version because someone in this case has used brain and decided to show the description down below the photo section, so you don't have to tap a profile picture to check out if you have something in common with that person or not.

The big advantage of this app/website is that you are able to upload few photos of your ugly face and then you can put them in order as you wish. That photo with a guitar? Let's make it the last one and that photo which is the last one now will be the first one. Simple? Yes. Useful? TOTALLY!

I believed in that app so much that I even decided to waste my money to pay for A-List which is a paid subscription. You can feel very special when you pay for it because you can do and see a lot of cool things:

  • You can see who liked you,
  • You can see if someone has read your message,
  • You can use advanced search filters (attractiveness, body type, personality etc.),
  • You don't see any ads (just use uBlock and AdBlocker lol).

I've sent message to one girl who caught my attention with her photos and description and after few days of waiting I decided to pay for that A-List to see if she has read it. Devs probably didn't predict that someone will do something like that because I couldn't see messages which were sent to girls before paying for that stupid subscription. Shame on you, OkC!

Tinder


Source: Official Tinder YouTube Channel

Tinder is pretty simple app. All you have to do is swiping to the left or to the right to like or... hate (I'm not sure about that one) the person who's photo you can see. 99.9% of users have no clue that you actually can set up yourself a description which might be read by the other people.

Everyone knows that Tinder was released to find a quick hookup or one night stand. Fortunately or unfortunately, most of girls who I talked to told that: "It's not as you think... I've created that account just for fun and meeting new friends."

If you have a match, you can send a message. Don't be naive - girls will never message you first. I had a pleasure to test that system when I was talking to my matches and I have to warn you that you can easily lose all of messages when your match will "unmatch" you or when the system will get some kind of bug which deletes whole conversation... It happened to me few times, so remember to take a lot of screenshots or to write down somewhere info about your matches. It would be really bad to mistake which one liked real normal pizza and which one liked fake vegan pizza, right?

You have also an option of giving "Super Like" which will notify the recipient that you liked them. I didn't decide to pay for removing the daily limit of liked people or for additional super likes because it clearly was a waste of money.

Royals App


Source: Official Royals App YouTube Channel

This app is for elites and elites only! You have to be handsome and rich to get matches. Unfortunately, I'm not handsome and rich kind of man (my mind is sexy and my brain is rich in pieces of information, believe me!), so I had to use my intelligence to win with the system.

I wasn't able to pay for a flight ticket to Maldives, but luckily I was able to pay for services of a photographer, who's special mission was to take few photos of me wearing fake Gucci t-shirt, fake Ray-Bans and fake Rolex. We even got lucky enough to find random Lamborghini in a parking lot, so we decided to take few photos around it. That's how you can look like one of these spoiled by their rich parents teenagers from that dating app without actually being rich.

Beside uploading photos, you can also set yourself a description, but probably no single user of this app knows nor cares about it because every single profile which I checked out was empty as firetruck.

Royals App works in a similar way to Tinder except that you don't swipe here. You have to open a pack with profiles of girls and then you go through their photos and you have to choose exact number of profiles of Y available profiles. Every opened pack gives you experience points, so you could level up. Profiles with higher levels are perceived as "better" by the app and by the other users because you have to spend a lot of money on "charms" to level up quickly.

You can open one free, basic pack every several hours, but don't worry! If you wanna get rid of your money, you can buy "charms". It's like a virtual currency which you can use to pay for more exclusive packs like: "In Your Age" or "Elite".

Summary

Time to sum up what I've been through during these tests. Believe me it wasn't nice experience whatsoever. I think I will have to turn off all of my social medias for a while to get some rest from all of this.

OkCupid

I've made few new friends here, but I wasn't successful when it comes to dating. Most of girls who seems to be interesting to me are from another continent and it's not good when you are as broke as me right now... I also wouldn't pay for A-List again because it has disappointed me. Why can't you read nor check out messages which were sent before you paid for premium subscription?

Tinder

Whenever I find app like this, which promotes choosing your future partner just by looking on a photo, I always wonder what so bad has happened to the humanity during last 20 years that great majority of my generation is so dumb.

But wait! There's an option to read someone's description on Tinder. What I hate about it is the fact that you have to tap the photo every single time when you want to read someone's description. It's not a big deal when you will use that app from time to time, but believe me that it's annoying as firetruck when you decide to check out more than few people.

Royals App

What I don't like about this app is that it divides people into bad (poor) and great (rich) categories. It also has the same very serious problem as Tinder does. It promotes choosing profile photo instead of real person with all of their advantages and disadvantages. If you are kid spoiled by your rich parents and you're dumb enough to choose your partner just by looking at their photo, go for it.


Let me know in the comments down below what is your opinion about dating apps. If you liked this post and you want to read more articles like that, click that "upvote" button! If you wanna support me financially, so I could prepare more interesting content, you can check out my Patreon here:
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Guess the takeaway message here is "dating apps are shit" :P

Only the half of the message is like that. The second half is: "Don't forget that personality is more important than good photo in a dating app."

I liked the way you analyzed them. Really funny 😅.