Dear Aj : Was it Easy?

I know we met in the Very wrong way but I just wanna say Thank you.

I Still remember how cute your voice when you asked for my number over video call. How you showed your pinky for a pinky swear. I still remember those late talks we did every night. How we video call on skype while we're both studying for exams though we're not talking. It's enough for the both of us to see each other on video because we haven't met each other in person. We have phone calls.

But then my world shattered.

You were in a relationship. I have to remind myself that you won't fall in love with me. Your heart is already taken by someone else and i should not bother thinking you'll be mine. There are times I wanna call you but then you'll cancel my call and text me that you're in a date with her.

I don't know what to do anymore. You were bothering my world. I was loveless. I asked for someone who would care for me the way you did, he gave me you but your heart's taken already. So what's the purpose of fate? Is it playing with me?

One day I had the strength to ask you. "Are we friends?"

But you answered.

"No, we're not. we're buddies for life."

"It's the same with being friends"

"It's not. Because we might get stuck at being friends and not able to get out of there."

I had the hint that you might like me. In some different way. That there's a chance you're lying about your girlfriend thing. But NO you're not. You send me pictures of her and you guys are so sweet. You only call me for late talks, but why not do it with her and you do it with me? Why not just drop this off and do things you do with me with her? What's so wrong with that?

I got no answers.

Until One day I met your sister. How she liked me better than Ann, that girlfriend of yours. How she adore me so much. How she wanted me to be your girlfriend but we can't.

We became close that I ruined your relationship with Ann. You decided to drop our relationship because Ann gets jealous because of me. Because your sister likes me better than your girlfriend.

I Did not ask for you to love me back. All I ask was friendship.

All of a sudden I was left in the air.

So AJ

Was it easy to leave me up there? Alone with no one else?
Was it easy to just drop everything and focus on your girlfriend?

Was it easy to pretend that you didn't like me?
Was it easy to hide your feelings?

Was it easy to show your message to my messenger and just say sorry and think I can accept you right now that i'm already happy with someone else?

Was it easy to Just confess how much you like me even though you have a girlfriend that you're confused about your feelings?

Was it easy?

To Forget everything and just tell me to stop.

Because....

It wasn't easy to hide my feelings and pretend to be just your friend.