Why

I'm so happy now that I know him. Nathan, that's the name I know from me, he who has changed my life. No more sad, moody, alone, my life is now always colored cheerful, laughter, like there is no more sadness in my life. Until my happiness goes 2 years I feel there is a strange in our relationship, he rarely call, my bbm also rarely rewarded him, he rarely play to my house again, every time i go to his house he would not be home.
'Natan where you are, I miss you' I cried to myself.

Now 2 weeks my situation is like this, I like lost my life, every day I search for him, but the result is still null I found, until one day I was pensive in the garden where me and he usually meet. I've been sitting there for a while I see a stranger to me, the closer I get to the face, how shocked I'm glad it's natan, but what shocked me and wished it was not natan is he walks intimately with another girl who makes my heart so devastated, I go straight to him and immediately cursed him even did not hesitate I slapped him and ran from the presence of them, I do not care about the natan who called me at that time, I was so disappointed with him, which I have always thought of as a good man turned out to be my duty.
"Where is the promise first !! Where is the considered a garbage?"
So unworthy I am for him, whether the 2 years time was nothing to him, I was so upset that I was struck by lightning in broad daylight.

I went straight home hoping I can calm my mind, but what! After I got home again I found what I wanted. There were shouting, broken pieces of stuff, which made me sick.
Why should all this happen at the same time? Why is my god such a powerful?
God I'm tired! I am tired! I'm not strong anymore.
Why god why my parents can not get along there is always a dispute between them, do I cause them to fight,

My life is now better than the blind! Deaf! Sick! Or the dead are more comfortable, I do not realize my hand has grasped a knife, which I torehkan in my hand, I feel better now my mind empty no more disappointed, heartache all lost instantly. Slowly my eyes closed and I can not remember what happened to me

Upon realizing I opened my eyes slowly looking left to right I got there was my mama who tightly grabbed my hand and my dad who looks very happy to see I have woken up.
I again remembered what happened to me, my tears back dripping, why should I wake up again god !! Why do not I just die.
Even natan was not here to accompany me, if he had forgotten me.

After I recovered completely I returned home. Memories of natan always ring in my mind, why can not I forget her. Now my life is so devastated I feel trapped in his love of natan, why natan gives me unfortunately for me but now he leaves me. This hurt is my deepest heartache for the rest of my life.

No more comforting me, no more feeding me, no more taking me for a walk. Everything is just a memory that can not happen again until 3 months I harbored this hurt, I finally ventured out of the house, long enough I am confined myself which makes me remember the figure of natan

When I was walking I met his natan friend. He took me to his house, at first I did not want to, but after he persuaded I finally want, when I got home natan, I asked where the natan, but not answered by the mama and just pass from where I sit, in my heart wondering what is this .

After waiting for a while his mom came out with a pink bag of letters, when he wanted to open it, his mama arrested me and told me to open it at home, after a long chat with his mama I finally went home. After I got home I just opened the letter that had made me curious

Dear millyy my prettiest

Maybe when love opened this letter from me I can no longer be with love, maybe I can only look at love from a distance.
Previously I'm sorry to have made you disappointed, what love to see is not the same as love to think, I had no news because I was sickly and spent time for treatment.
The woman who loves to see is not who I am, she is my cousin, we have not met for a long time.
I love very much love, sorry yes if now I can not accompany love again

Kiss dear for milly muach love,
Natan

After I read the letter I could no longer hold back the tears, not realizing my tears came down soaring wet natan, why am I so stupid, why am I not listening to the explanation of natan, why I am so rash in making decisions. Why, why, why god,
Now I am alive but like dead, I am like a person who has no spirit to live anymore, now I live in the shadow of natan and regret

My name is puput now I am school in one smk in sumsel, especially in banyuasin musi