Wow, I don't experience that intensely memory loss, and I have a pretty good memory, selective memory lol
There are things I can'T remember though that I wish I could remember now. I have CPTSD, so emotional flashbacks are emotional triggers, memories, but all I remember is the feeling. "He made me feel like that" but why and how?
There have been more things though that I remember as I recover and heal. EFT has been helping a lot with that. There are times when I remember something he said or did and I am baffled, appalled, disgusted, and it scares me that I forgot.
Some things I forgot from trauma. Other things I forgot because he used mind control to brainwash me. I used to be very afraid of it all. I started remembering when I stopped being afraid to remember and face the darkness. That's how it was for me. But it's scary to think how much I forgot and might never remember due to the trauma he caused and the brain manipulation he did to me.
I hope you'll find a way to remember what you need to and heal those parts that need healing so you can truly benefit from life and life the life you want and deserve :)
This is interesting...
Heya @binkyprod, welcome to the fiesta! Now I could be mistaken, but I believe that we may be talking about two different things here. I believe that the reason my memory was starting to lapse is due to the fact that my body needed me to be able to move onto the next day and not to be possessed by my past.
I'm far past the emotional healing stage of anything at this point. It's not like my memories disappear permanently or anything like that. It's more like I could more easily recall what I ate last month as opposed to a day or two ago. When I watch my memories, I'm already disassociated. I can still emotionally connect to the memories I enjoy, but I can analyze my negative situations better and see new perspectives without getting dragged down in the first-person recall of them.
Try imagining what it's like believing that you have good memory, and then becoming aware of your ignorance. That's terrifying.
Thank you for the well wishes regardless~
Mahalo,
@shello
Oh okay. Yeah, there is a difference there I was not quite grasping earlier. It's very interesting to know about your situation and how you deal with it.
Thank you @binkypod,
I was also drawn to your story as well. I used to not see memory this way before, and always wondered how something could be forgotten. <3
Memory is a strange thing. I'm glad to have connected with you :)
It truly is. The pleasure was all mine! c: