Diary of an Anxious Millennial #2- Panic Attack of the Week
I have been doing really well managing my anxiety enough to not have a panic attack, but this Monday I struggled to not go into a full blown panic. I currently live in an apartment and my next door neighbors are very noisy and have a tendency to yell frequently. On a normal day they yell at least three or four times about something. Now I know that some people are loud talkers and I just usually try to assume most of it is just talking loudly at each other which I normally am able to ignore.
Monday was completely different. I was sitting down working on some of my business stuff and doing my typical introverted thing. They started yelling and arguing, which is normal for them. The reality is people fight so I just continued doing my own thing. Then the yelling got increasingly louder and it sounded like they threw someone at the wall connecting our apartments. It jolted me off of the couch and scared the crap out of me. Their yelling got increasingly louder, then a group of them busted through their front door on to our shared porch area. I heard a child scream which made me call 911. While on the phone with the 911 operator, it sounded like they dragged or pushed a young man down the stairs. I explained what I had been hearing and that I was very worried that someone was being hurt. The young man also began to scream at the top of his lungs “Call the Police! Call the Police!” as they continued to drag him away from the apartment. The 911 operator told me the police were on their way and that phone call ended. I was in a full blown panic attack because I was really worried and scared and just in a shock. People fight and people argue but not only were they physically hurting this person they were doing it in front of a young child.
This led me into a full blown panic attack because I had been that child before. I had witnessed a lot of physical abuse towards my mom from her girlfriend at the time and remembered how scary that is and was.
I texted my boyfriend while he was at work and told him I called the police, was having a complete panic, and didn’t want to be alone. He talked to his boss and got home as quickly as possible. He even beat the police which shocked me. After about an hour and a half of waiting for the police to show up it was clear that they were not coming. That made me even more disappointed and anxious What if that young man was severely hurt, beaten or stabbed or shot? The police did not seem to care. My boyfriend just spent the day with me, and we drove down to my dad’s and spent some time away from the apartment. When we came home that night he reassured me it will be okay. He reminded me to go tell the apartment managers just so that they are aware of what is happening.
My anxiety has still been kind of high just because I am nervous that something bad will happen. The reality of life is people argue and fight, but when it escalates to violence it can only get worse and worse from there.
This image was found in an article about anxiety on Ravishly. I do not know who owns this photo so I am unable to give them proper credit but here is a link to the article that the imagine came from. This article is also an interesting perspective on what it is like to have panic attacks regularly. I used to have panic attacks everyday now I am down to about one every few months sometimes one a year.
Oh no, I hope you're safe and okay now. It's good that your boyfriend was being able to be around to accompany you.
Thank you. I am safe and everything is okay. I was glad he could be around too.
Congratulations @anxtymillennial! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPHi, I'm glad to see someone who openly discusses their anxiety on Steemit. I suffered with anxiety for a long time when I was younger, and eventually learned how to overcome it as the years went by. I think I stopped really being so concerned about the status quo or trying to fit in with the "in crowd" and it really helped me.
I am also an introvert, an INTJ according to the Myers Briggs personality test and I think I am actually becoming more extroverted in some ways because I spend time talking with others and sharing ideas instead of keeping all of my thoughts bottled up inside as I did during my teenage years.
I think writing about your anxiety will help you to overcome some of the challenges and you will learn that a lot of people share the same feelings.
What is super cool is I am an INTJ as well! Some days I consider myself an introverted extrovert. I can be extremely social at times and other times I just struggle. One of my big hopes for this blog is to help me overcome a lot of what is going on inside and not hiding the reality of it. I have already spent too many years trying to pretend or convince others I didn't have anxiety, even tried convincing myself because of the stigma. My therapist is the one who recommended writing, my dad said why not blog. Also I have never fit in and accepted that a long time ago. Took awhile but once I discovered the value of one close friendship or relationship needing a million friends didn't matter anymore.
I really like how you put worded the idea of us introverts communicating socially, an "introverted extrovert." I think I've read about that somewhere online awhile back and it makes a lot of sense.
From what I've read thus far in your comments and blog I think you will do well with a writing experience such as the Steemit platform. I appreciate reading people who radiate a sense of genuine human-ness in their writing and I get that from you and a couple of others here.
I wouldn't be ashamed of my anxiety, at all. Many of us share the same struggle, and I am recently overcoming some of those challenges.
I think your Dad and therapist made a sound suggestion for you to write! You're a great writer, by the way in case you didn't realize it!
You have a friend here in me if that counts for anything! I'll be keeping up-to-date on your posts and I look forward to your next post.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! I feel a lot of people lose their "human-ness" when writing. I try to write with my voice and don't leave out the real stuff. That is where the value is for me.
I am learning to not be ashamed anymore that is why I am using the opportunity to share.
I'm glad you're beginning to overcome some of the difficulties with anxiety through sharing with others who have lived with the same such as myself. I think there are a lot of people who are not as vocal about it but your blog will help potential newcomers to the site who may be dealing with these issues as well and they too can find their voice and consider writing as an option. Kind of like a chain event, where one person inspires others to follow in a similar fashion, creating a healing atmosphere for all parties involved.
As for my writing, I write whatever I'm thinking at the moment, pretty spontaneous! Sometimes it comes out the way I'd like for it to, other times, not so much but I keep plugging along regardless. I also try to keep an upbeat and optimistic approach to life for the most part, something else that's also helped me throughout the years with my bouts of anxiety.
Something I always tell people is you can be a super positive person and look at the bright side but still struggle with anxiety and depression. I always do my best to look at the bright side of things.
Spontaneous writing is fun and can be really helpful for clearing the mind whether it turns out wonderful or not. Plus writing is a perspective not everyone likes the same styles of writing, or topics so it is good to be you and free about it.
Maintaining a positive attitude has helped me in reducing stress and anxiety, actually.
I make every effort not to dwell on the past, which is something I've seen I may have used to do, I now views as counterproductive. I'm not sure how many times a person can rehash the same worn out dramas, and issues so I each day I wake up I start my day off with the attitude that whatever comes my way I can handle it!