A letter to the mormon first presidency and quorum of 12 apostles

Brethren,

            My family was introduced and baptized into the church when I was 3 years  old.  I was baptized, confirmed, ordained and set apart.  Actively participated in    many different leadership callings, a returned missionary, married in the temple, I’ve checked all the boxes.       Nearly 4 decades of membership and I’m often embarrassed and ashamed to call myself a member of your church.   I’m ashamed of you collectively   and   embarrassed for some of you individually.   

Long before my time, many inappropriate and racist things where
spoken about African Americans and people of color. Members of your sacred guild pontificating garbage about marks, curses, white or pure and delightsome. They were spoken from the pulpit of the tabernacle as doctrine and they were wrong. They taught a gospel of inclusion then excluded an entire race for generations. Exclusion that was based on there own bigoted inclinations, not prophetic revelation.
“As I have loved you, love one another. This new commandment,
Love one another. By this shall man know, ye are my disciples, if ye have love one for another.” Christ accepted the poor, he accepted the sick, he accepted prostitutes, he accepted the individual regardless of transgression because any sin is impurity, requiring the same sacrifice. With the understanding we are in a constant dance between sin and repentance. That none of us stand blameless. Shouldn’t we be accepting of everyone.
Those who hide from or ignore there own history are doomed to repeat it. With your hurtful, homophobic words, it appears you have set the course and are well into that cycle of repetition. Any assertion that a homosexual or alternative lifestyle household can’t provide a consistently loving, nurturing, grounding childhood is disgusting. It perpetuates the exclusion and disaffection of a class of people and you are wrong on every level to say it. These teachings foster an atmosphere of hostility and bullying by members who feel they are ministering to heathens.
As a missionary in Australia I was lucky enough to be introduced to different Polynesian cultures. Those faithful Polynesian saints often refer to themselves as ancestors to those spoken of in the Book of Mormon. I’ve heard general authorities say this and it confuses when you embrace the Samoan people as book of Mormon people then reject their cultural acceptance of transgendered people? Fa’Afafine is traditionally a blessing on a home, nothing less. Rather then exclude and create barriers, why not put your efforts into mass inclusion.
Your apparent disinterest in nourishing equality is far more grievous to the lord then the nickname Mormon. Allowing teenage girls to take a sacrament tray to a nursing mothers lounge is not a win but an insulting a sign of the disconnect between yourselves and many sisters. If a teenage girl is good enough to walk 15 steps into the mothers lounge, she’s good enough to take a tray from the teenager blessing the sacrament, passing it row to row before returning it to the table. Such a baby step token is pharisaical in its hypocrisy. We don’t know many of the intricacies of human sexuality, attraction or instincts, anymore then we know geographic coordinates to specific book of Mormon locations or a practical application for a family that can be together for ever. The earths entire historical population all sealed together as one gigantic family. It’s impossible to explain those logistics and requires faith. The same kind of faith that’s required to accept those groups we’ve disenfranchised because we might not understand them.
Its time to embrace complete transparency by releasing the full financial position of the church. Then recusing yourself from taking a position on issues that could be interpreted as a conflict of interest… Like if a powerful local group owned shares in a Pharmaceuticals company that made synthetic marijuana. It could be interpreted as a conflict of interest if they were to say things like, plant based marijuana products are bad but synthetics are ok. They could instill false confidence that a doctor prescribing a synthetic product through the pharmacy would be able to accurately predict a dosage without some trial and potential error. The same issues, potential access to children, black market sales and associated criminal activity, effect both plant based and synthetics. It’s either a viable acceptable medical option or its not. Christ warned us all, over and over, cautioning against the pursuits of wealth. Using influence to create a captive marketplace for a drug when potentially standing to profit from said drug, could be looked at by some members and non members alike, as an exercise of control, dominion or compulsion.
Each of you, at some point, have cautioned us to be weary of unacceptable resources we accept as valid. Taught us to question the authenticity of sources. Then you have failed us completely by not providing access to information concerning assets and allocation of sacred tithes. Your half answers lead to people wondering where the money is going and how exactly its being spent. Claims of spending millions on non missionary related humanitarian work, need to be substantiated. People are looking for resources to answer questions. Actively searching for information about How much, exactly, does it cost to build a temple? Expensive is not an answer that instills confidence.
No matter the current differentiation between the profit and non
profit entities of the church, at some point, all of those things came into the hands of the church as a donation, by tithing or gift, given with the intent that those funds would be used to make the world a better place in preparation of the second coming of Christ. Through our faith we have blessed you with the resources and ability to ensure food security and adequate housing the world over. Through our hard work, sacrifices, struggles and blessings we have provided those resources. Now you, collectively, have a responsibility to Jesus Christ to use them righteously and account for those expenditures. What an example to the world you would have been if you’d invested those hundreds of millions of dollars, spent to build a mall, into church owned transitioning houses for low income and homeless. We don’t know how much was spent on the lords mall and we don’t know if it was a successful investment. When you obscure or deflect answering our questions about church finances, you violate our integrity. Putting us in a position where your lies are passed as truth. As a missionary I told people that we had no paid clergy to learn that salaries on various levels are being paid through living allowances, gifts and who knows what else because you won’t tell us. Sins of omission are no less serious and present the same stains when we stand to account before the savior.
You need to clarify an equal roll for women, beyond supportive homemakers. Your unrealistic, stepford wife, expectations are actively destroying the potential and ambition of many of the sisters. A partnership isn’t a partnership if the decision is ultimately made by the husband. In a partnership people can effectively work together to raise children, so both can pursue individual careers and self fulfillment. Imagine the blessings to the world, if women weren’t teased with the notion that they are allowed equal opportunities to education, advancement and salary, but entitled to them as a basic human right. By supporting an equally educated and employed sisterhood you could unleash a knowledge boom the likes of which history has never seen before. Teaching an ideal, where woman stay home, have babies and limit themselves in education and career are akin to hiding ones light under a bushel. Teach the sisters to light the world through pursuing their individual aspirations without guilt or added pressure to bare children. Its ultimately her choice when, where, how or if she carries and bears a child. It’s not a discussion that needs to include untrained lay bishops but an intimate decision between partners.
I have seen expressed by many women, feelings of obligation creating situations of abuse. Your words set sisters up to feel unfulfilled and or inadequate rather then learning to find there individual gifts and develop them to the best of there ability. Some stay in bad relationships with men who control them because the church pedestals them as a temple recommend holding, therefore valiant priesthood holding husband. Some are beaten, some raped, some striped of individual value or worth and because of a lack of training, bishops find themselves unprepared to provide council that ensures the safety of these sisters. Many of these shattered sisters are left undereducated and under qualified to enter the workforce. They struggle to find employment that matches their individual qualities, abilities and potential. They take on large debts later in life to complete degrees that could have been completed years earlier. Others are unable to advocate for themselves and are taunted by the fear of losing access to their children because they don’t know to what lengths the abuser will go, to continue to hurt them. When a priesthood holder comes to his bishop admitting to abusing his wife or children requesting forgiveness it should be made clear that part of completing the repentance process is involving local authorities and the potential for jail time. Anything less condones the abuse and robs them of the full repentance process and fails to uphold the 12th article of faith. We do believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers and magistrates, and in obeying, honoring and sustaining the law. Don’t we?...
The day that first lock on a temple locker was clicked closed, you inadvertently conceded to your lack of absolute discernment. Criminals can, will and do, enter the temple. There are those who take advantage of sacred situations, destroying what should be a faith affirming experience. From first hand experience I can speak to the discomfort of being molested during my first initiatory. A hidden face behind a sheet damaged me without me even knowing it. Uncomfortable to the point of refusing in taking part in the initiatory ever again. Confused by what it should have been, compared to what it was and its relation to a gospel process. I was unaware for nearly 20 years. I eventually learned, not everyone was subjected to the same initiation as I had been. I had attended temple preparation classes. Then I taught temple preparation classes. At no point was I taught to differentiate between temple ceremony and inappropriate, off script, touching. Better informing those entering the temple with what each ordinance entails could prevent instances like mine from occurring again. Simple information and open communication is a far more effective, then a personal worthiness interview, in identifying issues, ensuring reporting of criminal behavior and creating a loving and spiritual experience.
Stop passing judgment on things that none of us understand, just stop. Use your efforts to embrace everyone around us equally. No matter the preferred gender association, sexual orientation, race, religious affiliation or individual circumstance. Open the doors, starting now, to a Christ centered inclusion and equality. Good advice says, it’s far easier to repent now for our hard hearted, stiff-necked and sinful ways. It’s an easy process, but sometimes we all need a refresher. First we acknowledge what we’ve done wrong, then we do everything we can to apologize and fix it, then we stop doing it. I try to work this cycle daily to better myself. Through faith, acceptance and personal repentance. I strive to be more like Christ. A loving and excepting example to those around me.

With love and hope, I pray that you will start to do the same.

Andrew H.