How an accountability buddy can help you achieve your goals

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Have you ever noticed that when you have a gym buddy you are far less likely to skip the gym? Even if you would rather stick your head in a vice, you feel guilty or like you would let the other person down if you didn't go. Starting a new class or hobby or a Weightwatchers class or whatever is always better with a friend. That is why group exercising or learning can be such a valuable tool for people. Knowing that you are not alone when dripping with swear or denying yourself that piece of cheesecake or during the frustration of learning a new language can be a really helpful tool.

Although we would all like to join classes in everything we want to learn so we can benefit from the expertise of an IRL teacher and the community aspect that is so motivating about mastering a new skill, we can't always afford it. I would love to take meditation classes but it's something that I don't see myself wanting to spend money right now, mainly because I pay for yoga classes to keep my posture in check for my home yoga practice and that's quite expensive in and of itself.

A great way to achieve this social aspect of committing yourself to new goals or challenges without signing up for classes is to get yourself an accountability partner. Whether it's weight loss, a daily meditation practice or learning to code, the buddy system can be helpful for you.

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Of course it's ideal if someone wants to do the same things you do, but even if you don't, try and find a person in your life who is into self improvement and learning new things as much as you are. You can list your goals, they can list theirs and you can keep in touch daily or a few times a week to keep each other accountable. I did this with my ex for a while and it was a really handy tool. We even came up with a forfeit/reward system if we didn't accomplish all the tasks we wanted to accomplish (of course we are Scottish so the reward system usually went “if we achieve everything we were supposed to we can go to the pub, if we don't we have to stay in”. Accurate cultural stereotypes FTW).

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Even if you are an extreme introvert like I am, you may well get a lot of mileage out of teaming up with someone. It doesn't have to be someone you know in real life either, online friends can keep in touch through any form of social media and keep each other revved up on the life goals.

Here's a few reasons why accountability partners are such a great resource:

Accountability. Duh.

If you only have yourself to answer to, it's so much easier to make excuses and blow off your obligations. If you have the right sort of person that you have to check in with, it makes you feel quite a bit worse if you haven't achieved what you wanted to, and very very proud of yourself if you have. That buddy can make you feel absolutely awesome if you have achieved what you wanted to. You can feel proud of and happy for them that they are progressing so well, and the same the other way around.

Bonding experience

Even introverts need at least some social contact. If you're like me, most of my human interactions take place over a table covered in full and empty pint glasses (there's that cultural stereotype again). Our way of communicating and having fun together is normally in a pub. We do occasionally travel together, attend local events and go to classes together, but we also spend quite a lot of time drinking. I love my friends and it's great to meet up and let your hair down. But achieving your goals together is a very different social experience than just meeting up for a coffee or beer and a chit-chat. It's very inspiring to be meeting up with someone (or talking to them on the phone or online) and be smashing through your goals together. Even if you have been friends for a very long time, it can bring a new dimension to your friendship. Having someone feel proud of you and supporting you every step of the way is inspiring, and so is being able to be that person for someone else.

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They can help you see things differently

Whether it's a business plan, travel plan or any other type of life goal, a different person brings a different perspective. They could well notice things you have missed, pitfalls you could be falling into or better ways of doing things. Two minds are better than one, you have twice the chance of discovering your barriers or limitations, and twice the chance of discovering a better way of doing things. Avoiding traps you might have otherwise fallen into can shorten the time it takes to reach those goals. Another aspect of this is that they might be able to point out personal patterns, like excuses you make for not taking the steps towards your goals.

Helping others is great for you, too!

Even the fact that you are helping someone else can be great for you. It's no secret that helping others can give you a warm, fuzzy glow inside and a real sense of purpose. It's all silver lining, no cloud. You both help each other improve the other and you get a nice little warm buzz from the feeling of being so helpful for other people. You want to make sure you have a great accountability buddy, but you need to make sure you are being one for the other person as well. Sharing in their joys as they are sharing in yours. Share the love, lovelies.

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You can devise rewards and consequences

You can easily set yourself a reward system if you meet your goals and a negative consequence if you don't, but who is going to make sure you actually do either of those things? This can be a really fun (and dastardly) aspect of accountability buddies. Devising rewards like a trip to the ice cream place or forfeits (one of mine was karaoke...I hate public performance so much that this was a really effective one for me) can be a really enjoyable, even exhilarating part of goal planning. And of course if there's someone else around to keep you accountable, it gives you that extra boost to keep going.

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So what sort of qualities do you want in an accountability partner? Someone who is supportive but not afraid to be honest with you. Someone who is as ambitious as you are. Of course it's great if you too have similar goals but that is not necessary.

If you are someone who has struggled to achieve the things you want in life, give the old accountability buddy a go. Even if you're a misanthropic introvert (like me) trust me, if you can find the right person it can really change your perspective on things and help you to get unstuck in your life.