DBM 011: On Connecting With People!

I once read these words on someone's wall one day and took some time to reflect on it.

I get the thoughts the writer is trying to communicate - Focus on the future and relate with only those that fit it. But what about the past? Yeah the past is past and cannot be changed, but are all past ugly and dirty with no good at all, and as such should be buried? What about the good past and the people who made them good for us?

This world is a world of people, so no matter where you are, you'll always find people and the need to make connections. But when trying to connect with people on any level there are certain things that we tend to pay attention to in making a decision. Some of those things could have arisen from our past experiences, witnesses to other people's experiences or plain personal principles with which we live.

Whatever the case, when we allow ourselves connect with others, we do so protectively; meaning that we tend to protect ourselves from becoming vulnerable to anything or anyone that might hurt or bind.

This can clearly explain why someone would think of the caption above: "You need to surround yourself with people who fit your future not your history". This is obviously an advice based on some kind of experience that seems to suggest that history holds not much value in defining progressive relationships.

Well, this can hold true on one side of the coin. However, I strongly believe that we are who we are because of where we are from. Meaning that no matter how far we go in life, our history plays a major role in shaping our journeys.

And rationally speaking, our lives are based on our choices. We are a product of the sum total of all our choices up till now, and what we will be as we go on is determined by what our choices will be.

Hence, even if our history suggests a myriad of mistakes and bad choices, it is still not wasted because it is still a part of our lives that we can apply to good use.
It is all about our perspectives; How are you looking at it? Because you could turn that mess into your message and create beauty from its ashes by empowering someone else in avoiding those pitfalls that you fell into.

So on the note of surrounding yourself with those who fit your future instead of your history, I believe it can be balanced. In fact, my suggestion will be that;

"You first understand where you are coming from, where you are, and where you're going to, and choose people who can possibly identify with all three."

Because the future is where you are headed, yet life isn't just about the destination, it is more about the journey. And though your past is in the past, yet they make up for the resolve on which you live today, which makes it a vital and an "un-ignorable" part of you.

You should live UNASHAMED! And never be afraid to connect to even those from your ugly past with the aim to bring them through to the better side on which you are. There are people who will thank you for this tomorrow.

Stay Switched On and Stay Switched Up!