How to communicate with people. The key to happiness #1

Hello!!

What we need to be happy the modern world? Which prevents us from being happy. I decided to write you to analyze each situation separately. First things first I have: "Communication"

Communicate.

 Numerous contacts are the key to success. One will tell you need a phone or website, another will be acquainted with the interesting person, the third will give good advice. It is not necessary to be friends with everyone deeply and round the clock — it is enough only to maintain contact, allowing at any time to address people with questions, requests and proposals. Of course, we are talking about mutual communication — you must also be open to someone's initiatives and requests. The selfish exploitation of someone's financial, business or intellectual resources will bring you only temporary success. 

Human life in modern society is impossible without communication with people. No wonder we are given such a gift as speech, which distinguishes us from animals. But it's something given to all (with rare exception), but to enjoy it fully, not everyone can. For some people, talking to others is the most unloved occupation and even punishment, because for some reason they do not know how to interact with them and maintain contacts. In General, the main reasons for problems in communicating with others can be illiterate speech or deep psychological problems. And if the first deal is quite simple with the help of regular exercise, then psychological problems are just not solved.

 How to correctly learn to talk?  

  Reading and retelling. 

Even if there is not enough time for anything but work, you need to allocate literally 15-20 minutes a day to read books. It is desirable to give preference to classical literature, which preserves a pure language. 

After reading a book or article in the journal, you can share information with loved ones. All is done, as in the usual school retelling. It is necessary to try to build sentences correctly, not to lose the thread of the narrative, to answer clarifying questions and, of course, to engage in self-observation. Only critical (within reasonable limits) attitude to yourself will allow to notice defects in speech and correct them in time.  

  Imitation. 

And while watching TV, you can work on improving your speech. You can imitate the singer or the actor, voice and speech which like. Incidentally, even voice can be a bit change, if want. You can choose a speaker and try to repeat the news after him, also pauses in phrases and focusing on certain details. But have to say the phrase out loud. Such exercises myself not executed. 

Emotions and gestures. 

Also important for the beauty of speech intonation, emotional support, facial expressions and gestures. It is important to improve on these issues for personal communication or speech to the audience. Totally irrelevant constant nervous her hair, or drumming your fingers, which give insecure and in your words man. To avoid awkward pauses in communication, which can be nervous, they can be filled with some interesting facts or anecdotes, but only if they are appropriate in a particular situation. To do this, it is important to follow the news of science, politics, culture, art and develop a sense of humor. 

How to learn to talk to people without problems? 

If the basis of problems in communication are psychological problems, enrich vocabulary and form the ability to build complete and beautiful phrases is too early. To avoid barriers in communication, you need to understand the cause of the problem. Perhaps the reason lies in childhood, when there was some conflict or frightening situation. Then this value is not attached, and now it finds a way out in the inability to communicate with people.  

  Communication problems affect those who have during a call change and said in a trembling voice, there is a sense of fear, sweaty palms or face, quickens the heartbeat and produce other involuntary reactions like panic attacks. We are not talking about violent love, which can be accompanied by similar manifestations, but about psychological problems. Most of the time their reason might be:  

 *the inability to meet and maintain a conversation,

 * in excessive modesty and shyness, 

* in low self-esteem, 

* the inability to listen and understand others,

 * in fear of the crowd, 

* in fear cause discontent people,

 * in the complexes about appearance, etc.  

  When no confidence in myself, to communicate and to disclose to the other person is not simple. We need to take a few steps to get rid of the fear of talking to people:  

  *to understand the problem and to prepare for long-term work on the study of deep experiences,

 * to understand the cause (this may need to go to the specialist or psychologist meeting),

 * to work out the traumatic situation and "forget" about fear, let go of the past and live in the present,

 * starting to communicate with people - only constant overcoming yourself will allow you to learn how to talk to people (you can make yourself whole plans, for example, 5 long conversations and 50 short conversations a day), 

* when it is difficult to immediately start conversations in the company or on domestic issues, you can first engage in telephone conversations (at least, it will not be necessary to worry about external manifestations),  

  However, there are people who are modest in nature, and do not worry about it. As you know, modesty is not a Vice. When deep psychological problems are solved, it will be possible to continue working on the development of their personality, improve communication skills, try to be open and sociable.