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RE: My first attempt at recording a metal song
Well I wish some of my demo tracks sounded that "terrible"!
Only listening on crappy laptop speakers, but if anything I think there's a bit too much going on in some of the upper-mid frequencies - especially when the lead guitar comes in. It makes a lot of the drum track get lost a bit and lose some definition. I'd try some EQ tweaks, separate the drums a little more with divergent reverb times, and perhaps try a lead guitar tone with a markedly different timbre to the rhythm track.
Great stuff!