MY 2017 ACHIEVEMENTS AND FAILURES: ACCEPTING FAILURES

The beginning of 2017 was not that great for me, yet the most painful year. I thought it was the happiest year ever, but it fell in a dream.

If there is the sweetest guy you met that you have not been in your life before, you'll be upset when he'll be gone soon because he is one in a million. Yes, he left suddenly without saying anything. My head exploded like crazy to think the moment before. I wished to stay in a room surrounded by black paints so I could not see the lights. I wished I come to the mountain to shout aloud throughout the day. The hardest thing was to stay at home with my family because I needed to hide my feelings. I hated to see them worrying at me especially my mother. I hated to be pitied too. I tried harder to eat even the foods was tasteless, I tried harder to smile even if my heart was heavy and torn, I tried harder to sing even if I cared to cry.

I felt so amazing about myself that I fought that deepest cut. Indeed, he was lucky of my tears. Indeed, we're not really made for each other. Maybe he came to my life to kill the profound grief I had when my father passed away in 2016. I was in distress when my ex-lover left me, but it was more severe when my father left me too. I thought I'd be following him in heaven because of an excessive paranoia. It was hard to let him go afterall our 25 years of love and togetherness. I understood that episode with my ex-lover. It was a stolen moment.

If there are many failures we've met today and will be meeting in the future, we must be grateful to it. Instead of hiding in the darkness and reminisce the tragic past over and over again, we must act now to do good things encouraged by our defeats.

I was in immeasurable agony and downfall, but I tried vigorously to change myself. They may say that our body is nothing but a capsule, but many people care to judge us by our physique. Reality is a sad truth but indeed our exceptional motivation.

For one year, I went to the gym and successfully changed my figure. Because of that, I gained positivities for myself. Thanks to my tears and despairs.

Way back in June 2016, I prayed to God that one day He'll provide me an opportunity to make a decent money and a nonstressful job. I had worked before but I left suddenly because I cannot handle health pressure anymore.

In August 2017, I joined Steemit. On my first month, I invested emotions as I was competing myself to the other writers whom I thought are higher than my level. I tried hard to post researched articles, but it didn't reach the tastes of many. I was discouraged to deem that Steemit was not for me, but then I met the signs that Steemit is really for me.

In photography, I am addicted to taking photos because of Steemit. Wherever I go, my phone is always ready to picture many places and objects and we are pushed to do our best more if we are rewarded.

When I joined a photography contest, I won twice in @juliank's travel photography and smartphone photography about lines.

The first article ever that hit the big bucks was my blog, "Overcoming Muscle Atrophy."

It was like a magic when I woke up in the morning that it earned 100 dollars. I realized that as long as we write from the heart, as long as our readers can feel our sentiments, believe your expectation.

Other than that, my new friends in Steemit are my achievements too and to be noticed by these big Steemit heroes. I bet they know who they are if they read this.

DISCLAIMER: The content and illustration are original. The content is an entry for #my2017 contest hosted by @anomadsoul.