My Story - Self Belief - Never Give in
This is a story, about never giving in, overcoming obstacles and remaining connected to the vision and why you are doing what you love to do.
I start my story a little different from most, at the top of my game so to speak. By the age of 21, I had modeled for some of Australia’s most elite fashion houses; I had represented Australia in athletics in track and field, I had played basketball in the United States on a high school exchange and represented the country in junior bodybuilding.
I was also, well on my way of fulfilling my childhood dream of playing AFL football. With the constant support of my childhood hero, my father I found myself training with Carlton Football Club (Northern Bullants) by age 24.
Where my story differentiates from most, is what transpired next? Three days after my 21st birthday, my father passed from stomach and colon cancer, which was extremely difficult to deal with given he was my only support network in my life in entirety. Immediately prior to this, I had lost a long term partner, to a lung fluid issue. It’s safe to say, I felt extremely lost to say the very least at this point.
What I found, through training not only the body but the mind was true strength. If we truly believe in what we are doing not only as a person in the learning school of life, but also how we can positively affect others was what provided me the platform to overcome these tragedies. This provided the mindset to ask myself, “ this has happened, but what have I learned?”.
As if that wasn’t enough, back to football. Almost as quickly as that started, it was over preseason 2006, I was in an accident on a rooftop party, where I fell four stories onto a concrete driveway below.
I woke in the Alfred Hospital 3 days later, with a broken lower back, coxic, hip, pelvis, 17 breaks to my right lower leg and ankle, 12 to my left, broken feet, broken ankles, broken wrist, and both shoulders had been dislocated. The doctors suggested I was extremely lucky to be alive, but at the time I didn’t feel it.
I later learned that it would be unlikely I’d never walk again. Or stand, or live any type of a normal life. For me, previously being an athlete and this was all I knew, I found myself questioning how I would cope, better yet, how I would live..
However I found myself drawing on previous strengths having suffered loss, I decided then and there that there was no way known that I would not walk, run and play sport and be normal. I think, the doctors thought it was great to see positivity but numerous times they suggested it would be better to manage my own expectation.
Now, the path was by no means easy. Had it not been for my long term partner and her family at that time, I wouldn’t have had adequate support for me to force myself to recover. It’s important to note, this was not instantaneous.
This started, with a continual utter self belief, that although to start I could only slide my feet 5cm at a time, before my body would black out in pain. But 5cm, turned into 7, and 7 to 10 and so forth.I appreciate I am making this sound far easier than it was. To be brutally honest, it was a matter of, practicing to stand once a day. Once a day, roughly 8 months and 6 changes of leg casts later, with a walking frame for only 1-2 minutes at a time. Anything more than this was physically impossible, already relying on prescription medication to assist me with pain that could cause a black out at any moment. By prescription medication, I mean I simply couldnt move without my dosage of endone and interium doese of panadiene forte. Otherwise I was electric wheelchair bound, as I literally couldnt move without the pain medicine having recently been taken. There were days upon days, which felt like eternity for the 1 hour to go, the 30 minutes to go, the 10 minutes to go until I could take more. Now I appreciate how this sounds. But understand, the majority of your body pulsing in pain, and you not being able to do a thing for yourself without slight relief, let alone practicing to stand or slide ones foot.
A slight fall from grace, for a guy who use to measure food, workout twice a day and go for a night run for fun. Then as ive described totally reliant on endone and panadiene to have the chance of standing for a few minutes a day.
I was released from the rehabilitation centre hospital ahead of schedule. I was very lucky in securing a role in large business that gave me the ability to take the selling skills I already had but apply them to a phone and office setting. Now this isn’t to say that the journey was an easy one, as let’s remember I still couldn’t walk properly. There would be days I couldn’t get out of bed as my legs and back would swell up and I couldn’t physically move. Without, shivering in pain. Not an easy thing to explain to an employer when you literally cant reach the phone or move to explain why you couldnt be in that day.
Looking back at it now, it was a humbling experience to really use the connection to why I wanted to do something to keep me pushing forward. There were times, where I was made fun of, a then overweight guy that limped with both legs, and couldn’t rotate at the hips.. I don’t really blame them as I am sure it would have been an interesting site.
Just as things started to get better, my long term partner left me. As I was no longer the go getting athlete that I once was. I was 50kgs up from my normal weight and not being able to move properly. Working alone would give me levels of pain, that are simply not describable to someone who hasn’t experienced something similar.
I then found myself with nowhere to live. Luckily a good friend said I could live with him. Graciously I accepted, knowing it was 1.5 hours from work each way. I made the best of it, learning about office efficiency and forecasting at work, I found myself using the travel time to dissect how I could learn and do things better each day. This focus however, mainly due to time was an issue for my body’s recovery. Mentally strong but body weak and still largely broken.
I knew I couldn’t continue to live in this manner. I didn’t know how I was going to do this, but made the decision I would not only walk properly again, but run, and play football and basketball.
I moved interstate to South Australia, thinking I would have more family support in my original home state. Although that proved to be nothing further from the truth, it provided me access to find my eventual field of expertise in the financial industry nmely salary packaging and fleet leasing market.
I now had a purpose to learn as much as I could, whilst undergoing, physiotherapy, personal training, hot stone therapy, remedial therapy, dry needling therapy. Three years had passed, by the time I could walk and run properly. But still, with a great deal of pain.
I then started coaching a local football team of which my younger brother was a part of, with the view, I could maybe make a difference. We finished last the first season, however it gave me access and the platform to start training again, in the sport I loved after being told I’d never stand just 5 years prior.
I not only played, but was a contributor on the field. The momentum this gave me, was unparalleled as this gave me energy to learn more and more at work, I got promoted, again and again whilst having further and further movements gained back in my body.
Largely, I feel this was attributed to a change in a raw natural diet. My pain levels went down, and my concentration levels in work went up, allowing me to further accelerate.
I guess this experience has taught me a level of resilience and a true self belief in that if we are focused, we really can do anything. We can not only make a difference to ourselves, but to those around us.
What is life, if not learning and growing experience?
Do not ever give up due to some hardship, as hardship is often a hidden opportunity that will cause you to focus, knuckle down and take yourself and those around you to the next level.
I have continued to go through challenging growth lets say, having landed some pretty exciting roles within employers of choice, but then finding perhaps they really arent for me?
My new long term partner and I moved to her home country, where within the same financial fields I have made immediate impacts.
I gues what I have learned through all of this is, with sheer determination and will you can accomplish your goals. You can grow, you can learn from every experience in life.
I now focus alot of my time not only trying to share this mindset but inspire others to really push themselves in being the best they can be, at life.
So whether you are the hard working CEO working on new ways to explain your product more easily and driving strategy and innovation, or whether you are simply work part time in your local store. Be the best that you can be at it, no matter what you do, because you never know where it may lead.
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