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RE: Happy News

in #news7 years ago

"Recent survey finds that most people are planting food gardens and really aren't too fussed about the new iPhone"
A recent poll run by London newspaper finds that increasing numbers of British are reducing the hours they work and opting to live in Tiny houses, consuming less and spending more care free time with friends and family, and also joining in hoards to local gardening schemes.
Interviewing local Londoner this person said "Yeah mate, I realised that I was just slowly dying inside working a job I hate to buy shit that didn't make me happy that probably some poorly paid and poorly treated factory worker in Taiwan had made, to spend my time staring at a tiny little glowing screen. I mean stuff'n'technology is great n all but you gotta get real and spend some real time in the world with real people sumtimes innit." Mr Bradley had recently changed part-time in his work and was spending more time walking in the park with his dog Molly and helping plant carrots at his local allotments. "Yeah mate", said Mr Smith, "no-one really noticed it but it just started to sorta slowly happen, people talking about how shit capitalism is n' all innit, so they was just starting to do all sorts of urban gardening schemes an that n I just found it well inspiring".
Local supermarkets are noting marked reductions in their grocery sales and blame it on the green-fingered movement. CEO of Tesco laments that "it almost like a return to the pre-industrial age when lazy peasants would shirk about following their pigs up country lanes whistling and relaxing, it's a disaster for the economy", he becried, "we might need to lobby the government to bring in some sort of anti-allotment law or something along those line". He suggested that the supermarket industry might ally with pharmaceutical firms, who also are feeling the pinch now that use of anti-depressives has dropped by 50% in Britain.

There are emerging disturbing reports that similar patterns are emerging in other post-industrial and industrial nations such as the USA , China and Germany.

[If you read this and thought "ooooh, there's a new iPhone!!! Then I role my eyes at you! (there is no new iPhone)]

peace out