RELAX!! HERE'S THE WAY TO SAVE STEEM - A FUNNY "NEW STEEM" STORY - PART 1

in #newsteem5 years ago (edited)

There are vengeful people out there calling Steem a derelict blockchain, formulating diabolical plans to destroy it, and drafting their eugoogiligies.

Off topic for a sec, isn't this cat adorable?


With threats all around, Steem has a secret weapon, a future Community Manager known as @justineh.

Justine is great, and would make a lovely face of Steem, but she has one beautiful flaw that's hard to unsee once you notice it.

Justine is not an ambismirker. She can't smirk right.

I'll give everyone a minute to come to grips with this... I understand that it's a lot to take in.


To highlight some positives first, let's celebrate her three world-famous looks:

Amazing. Gets me every time.


Trolls say that all three acclaimed looks are exactly the same, but their efforts are in vain. Fools. Those who appreciate the beauty in the details can easily see the drastic differences in each.

On her unexpected journey, Justine has admirably tried to smirk right to grow as an individual. She knows that this is presumably the only reason Steemit, Inc. wouldn't hire her on the spot to fill the massive void right now (and I agree).

Despite her best efforts, she can't quite go right yet, and that's perfectly ok...

However, she's lost some faith, and that's NOT acceptable. Perhaps that'll change one day when we need it most, before it's too late.


On the brighter side, she's been working on a new look for a while called "NEW STEEM," but says that it's not ready yet.

Steemians in the know have been eagerly waiting for her to grace us with it and spark a Steem bull run.

[To honor Justine, let's all imagine a Steem llama/alpaca run instead.]


Many speculate that she may release NEW STEEM to the public at SteemFest 4 in Bangkok, Thailand, and I can't wait.

EOS has been recruiting Steemians to turn on Steem, but Justine is loyal. The force is strong with her.

Dan has promised her grandiose gifts such as a "Center For Pygmy Goats Who Can't Bleat Good," but she won't budge.

Ahhh, Caballo is such a great look...

Instead, she's been taking some time to relax, and that's a very good thing.


*This concludes Part 1.


Mandatory hilarious Zoolander video clip if anyone doesn't know where the F I'm going with this...

Editor's Notes:

  • There is no correlation of intelligence between Derek Zoolander and Justine.
  • There is a strong correlation between MUGATU and Dan, but his cat is innocent.

"When words fail, music comedy speaks." - Shakespeare

"NEW STEEM's so hot right now, NEW STEEM."

@steemmatt

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Loving the duck face trolls over here!!! :D

ded 🤣😂🤣😂😂

Man I don’t think there is anyone who can troll me as well as you, and in such a nice and funny way too! Hahahaha

Funny.. all the photos next to each other really brings your point home.

Damn my smirk!!! I can’t help it!! I’m awkward!!!

The goats will never get a home now 😫

Looking forward to part 2... will I overcome the smirk that holds me back.. will Dan make a better offer... will Steemit Inc. see past the downfall of my inability to smile and see the value my smartass self brings to whatever table we are talking about?

Such suspense!

Thanks Matt.. this made me giggle uncontrollably and maybe cry a little. I needed it 🤗😝❤️

Starting now... you and I are officially on the same page.

What's the deal with the land boat?

There was ONE hole in my post and you found it. Nice one. Got me to keel over a little bit.

i think it is actually a boat that may be beached therefore appearing as though it is on land. or, it is on land.

Oh he’s smart too!

LOL ive always been a fan of blue Steem and I hear MagnumSteem is going to blow us all away

Posted using Partiko iOS

Why is she sitting on a boat that is Not on water? Is this a steem metaphor!?

Posted using Partiko Android

This seems to really be baffling people lol.

The water was in the other direction. 😝

DFFFA4C3-9053-4E5D-A710-B719D8C7201E.jpeg

HA to the metaphor... Now that's thinking.

Can we get a pirates eye patch over here?

Off topic for a sec, isn't this cat adorable?

The black or the pink one?

those legs certainly do look very relaxed

this woman is very beautiful

Awe ☺️ I like you! Thanks ... and yes my legs were very relaxed.