Sleep Pattern Disturbance (An RN’s Self Nursing Diagnosis)

Time out : 10: 30 AM.
I sighed in relief as I glimpsed at the electronic time clock. After having a last play-by-play of the end of shift code blue, I said goodbye to my staff nurse. Well, I definitely won’t be missing her since we’ve spent the last 18 hours together.
Donning sunglasses, I stepped out of the hospital. The daylight still stung but this is way better than having no sunnies at all. It would have been like being punched in the eye, not to mention the accompanying headache. So, as what I tell newbies, NURSING 101: Always bring sunglasses when going on a night shift.
As I was hitching a ride, an acquaintance of mine says hi. Back then, I would have been embarrassed by how haggard I looked. Typically, at this time of the day, everybody is fresh from the shower, perfume-riddled and in a good-morning-sunshine mood except us night shifters. But in my sleep-deprived state, I truly could not care less.
The prickly heat on my skin somehow exacerbates the body malaise I am feeling. It drains whatever low energy that remains in my being. By this time, all I can think about are my bed, my toothbrush, the toilet and fresh clothes. I wish the driver would hurry.
At last!Home! ahhhhhhhhhhh...
Now, the new dilemma: what am I gonna do first? Satiate my dragon-not-fed-for-100-years stomach or obey my reticular activating system that’s been positively begging me to sleep-STAT! My stomach won the round, as usual.
When brunch is over, its time for self-pampering then bed. Seriously, the discomforts need to be addressed. My hands and shoulders are stiff from CPR. My calloused fingers sort of sore from writing. My legs fatigued and aching like I just ran in a 25 K marathon, which probably is the same distance I covered while walking/running around the hospital. Slumping into my sheets, I prayed I would fall into an instantaneous slumber.
11: 20 am
Tik tok tik tok...
I lie awake for about an hour, recalling doctor’s orders. Rechecking. Reviewing the work I have done. Making quite sure there is no possibility of mistake, which is totally nonviable. Though I don’t strive for perfection, I try to come as close as I can get to it, just enough for my superego to shut up and grant me a peaceful doze.
But no.
Code Blue! Even in my dreams that defibrillator shrieks like a maniac. I see it all. Breaking epinephrine ampules. aspirating syringes, NGT feeding, Doctor’s and nurses’ handwriting. ugh. What a nightmare!
1 pm. This time, wake up alarm is triggered by the pain caused by my gastric juices. I chose to ignore. This round is won my by reticular activating system. Sorry tummy, you can’t have it all.
4 pm. My tummy is a monster. He just won’t give up . Crawling out of bed, I eat whatever is edible inside the refrigerator. Just absolutely anything. I don’t really mind much since I’m half asleep anyway. When done, I resume my interrupted comatose state.
6 pm. Its the inherent dinner time alarm. I get up, hoping there’s something good in the table. At this point, I am officially awake. GCS 15 awake until 2 am.
Yikes! Gotta go back to sleep. 8 am to report on duty tomorrow.
Goodnight everyone!