You can quote philosophers until you're blue in the face but it won't take away my blues.

Until I hit 20, I never felt the need to find happiness. In hindsight, I wasn't always happy but I didn't realize the world's peer pressure to find happiness.

If I could happiness, wouldn't I have done it? But I can't fight years of imbalanced hormones, genetics, bad decisions to find what makes me happy.

I look at a friend of mine. She is a housewife and takes care of her husband and father-in-law, but nobody takes care of her. Everyone around her apathetic to her but she still finds joy in her morning cup of tea and I have never seen her unhappy. She has financial problems, relationship problems, but she's happy.

It makes wonder why I can't find my cup of tea. I want to laugh loudly like I used to.

The thing that made me happy was writing so here I am, writing gibberish.