Catch Them Being Good

Often times, parents point out things that their child does wrong, such as them not doing their homework or chores, displaying bad manners or not doing as their parents tell them to do. The interesting aspect about pointing out the negative or undesirable behaviors in children is, is that the more parents point the negative behavior out, the more children are apt to do it.

This phenomenon happens because criticizing is a form of attention a parent gives to their child, and children love getting attention from their parents - whether it be negative or positive. So kids tend to display more of the behavior they just got called out for, which causes parents to point out or even criticize their child even more...and thus a perpetual cycle of negativity is created.

Instead, try “catching your child doing good.” If your child happens to finish a small task that you would like to see them do again, point it out immediately. By doing so, your child will get the attention they want and also associate the positive feedback to the desirable action, and will want to do it again!

It may be difficult to “catch your child being good” all of a sudden. You may need some practice. So if you were to try making one positive comment a day to your child for the next few days, you’ll find that it gets easier and easier. Try saying something like: “It’s great to see you putting your clothes in the laundry, JinGyu.”