Never you reflect your bad experiences in your family || accepts the differences of your couple and will be an excellent father, husband and fellow.

in #personal-development5 years ago (edited)

Hello Fellow of steemit, my best wishes to all the members of this respected community, the day of today seat the need to speak them or at least write them about the family, expect that this serve of council to those youngsters that have a wrong idea about all what covers the word family.

What is the family?

This concept goes changing satisfied go confronting distinct stages of the life, for example:

When we are boys understand by family, that are all those relatives or descendants that have some bow surroundings to us, well was, uncles, cousins, brothers, parents, grandparents, for appointing only some.
When we arrive to the adolescence the things happen to another plane since we begin to think that of some form can do what want to which is a big error committed by each one of us in this life.
When reaching your stage adult begin to see the things with clarity and to understand the meaning of this so ignored word by many.

You decide to form a good or bad family

To arrive to the point that want that they understand, go to explain them a bit of my life, expect to not to bore them, begin.
My mother (Lisbeth), to the 16 years remains pregnant of a man that did not do charge of his responsibility like father, my mother won the life working home of family, and kept working for like this can keep to my grandmother and part of his brothers, during the first three years of my life my mum was the one who saw by my, to the 19 years knows to a man that without mattering him that she was mother soltera, joined bows with her forming like this a family of which formed four children more apart from my, to measure that I went growing never there was an embrace of my breast or of my padrastro or a how are son?, they were used to to abuse me physically, and the only that I said inside my era that my son would not go through the same, when I fulfilled 14 years gave me a lot of beers, since my padrastro said that the alcohol to man to the men, in view of the oversight of my parents, had to see by my brothers many times and inside my only said, ?When have to my children will not be like this?,by my mind many times happen the idea to abandon the house and see that it achieved in the street, but for protecting to my brothers, never did it.
To the fulfilled 18 years knew to a woman of which me enamore and that well in brief nowadays is my wife already have 6 married years, and is here where want to that they understand something.

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If had a childhood or painful adolescence, does not want to say that the family that form has to go through the same.

Before deciding marry me or no, said him to my girlfriend that family, was a word that bothered me a lot, since it had not had a figure paterna firm that could serve me of base to breed to my children neither much less to be a good husband, but understood that I could go on thanks to the support of my girlfriend, want to say you fellow reader that the man and the woman when joining have to have a plan of clear and firm life, not to commit the same errors that marked us already before to us.

You do not have to save grudge.

Many times we commit the error to reproach him always to our parents the maltreatment or the fault of affection of which carecíamos, but personally think that we have to be more optimistic and love them and/or value them by the sacrifices that did by us, in this way will be able to have a plan of crianza and deal quite clear to your wife and children. Save grudge to our parents is something illogical, because but love to our parents, how will ask him to our children that love us to us?.

You have to treat always of not falling that what did you to you have to do it in your house.

Fellow youngster..!

If have your couple with which have thought to begin to form your family ask you that you take in account this, and is that you are young and this is a small disadvantage because you are like the loose foal in the savannah that only wants to run without being detained, relax you, settles down and looks for a good woman, if you want to marry you have to have calm and will achieve what want to, I did it and worked me very well.

The boys teach you more than what can believe, only do not ignore them.

When you are father will understand the a lot that you have to encourage you not to abuse you of the same way that to you. We commit a big error when we say that we will give him to our children all what did not have, have to give him what in reality deserve and need since you can not reward it but are carrying well.

During the first months and even the first year is difficult to load with this responsibility and with the step of the time understand that it is your responsibility do of this boy or girl a person of well.
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When they arrive these problems between couple in begin them to take out the differences that there is between both remembers that no all are equal and have to respect the differences your couple.

Personally we are not equal, each one is born and develops with his own beliefs, tastes virtues and different defects to another person, and are these differences that separate us of the pile and are the same that separate us of the other if we fix us first in them to the moment to go in in deal with others.
When we begin an engagement, many times commit the error to think in that, if we arrived to live and form a home with this couple, will have the opportunity to change the attitudes that would bother us of this future couple. Once that begin to convivir with our couple, lose the time wanting to that this person was the same that we or vice versa, invest effort in wanting to that our couple bend his form to be; clear always and in the majority of the cases is so that the things improve in the relation and in the life that carry.

It contributes ideas of positive form.

Certainly each person has and lives good and bad experiences, but to the hour to advise to your couple is better that contribute your positive experiences to her, clear that do this requires of time and effort, since we have to give him the opportunity to see if this person wants to adhere to his life or form to be the suggestions that are giving him.

What happens if you try to force to your couple to change?

When we concentrate our energy and time in wanting to change to other people imposing our will as it was, and costing them to judge and criticise all the time, with all security what will obtain is the separation and resentment of this person to you and if you insist a lot could arrive to assault you.

It accepts the people as they are.

This is the most correct and the simplest to do, only have to analyse the positive qualities of the another person and ask you if you can live with this and carry a good relation. Generally the good things, that know of somebody to principle of a relation are used to to be sufficient to board a good deal for life with this person.
In the marriage works of the same way, and if with the step of the time decide with your couple change some appearance that improve his personality, this would be ?The cherry of the cake?, it would be a gift of you for you, all this owing to the love and the work that together have done, and better still will be a big education that will have to give them to his children.
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You do not force to anybody to accept you by force.

When it presents the case in that we want to be accepted by force, knowing that have bad attitudes and even bad habits for with us and with the people that surround us, can not expect that they accept us because yes, and never say that ?It does not matter you if they want you or no, because you will not change you forms to be.?

You can carry a good relation, although this involve a lot of differences.

This can do it without any fellow problem or friend that read this, only have to:
• It sees the positive things: it begins for recognising the efforts of the another person, avoid to be judge or jury, have present the good things of this person and with the step of the time sure will have it with you even. If it commits errors, speech with him or she.
• It thinks what go to say: it is very common to want to explode in moments that almost always are product of the ire, my council is that you have to look for a better stage and moment to speak on the defects or errors committed by this person, in this way what say will do to reason and understand that they do not have to go back to suceder these things, if you do the contrary aggravated the things and even can arrive to go down his self-esteem.
• Excuse: never you go you to the bed to sleep without asking apology to this person, takes the baton you without mattering the one who have failed, since in this way you will be helping sanar a wound that although it have not been done by you, this person will understand that really you want to carry the relation by ways of well.
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You do not lose the time.

A lot of people arrive to elderly solos, because they lost the time looking for that person that went the same to them, have to understand that no all are equal, and that they are these differences those that complement your life, for example in the case of my couple and I:
to me it likes me the black colour to her the blue, to my likes me the paste to her the rice, I prefer the series of tv she the films, likes me deadpool to her ironman, to her like him the ballades I prefer the rock.
And we stop to explain the differences that have, but do you put to think in that if they went ?Equal?, it would be well this?, I think that no, because you already would know that expect and that no of this person, is better that surprise you in case same, say you that you CAN not CHANGE To THE PEOPLE SO THAT they ARE EQUAL To YOU but if you can learn to live with the things that differentiate them.

To finalise.

Many will say that only I publish good moments to boast, but all have problems and there where have to do cost the power that has the family that you same have form, able to surpass any obstacle that present so:

• It settles down.
• Relax you.
• Do a plan of firm life.
Thank you For taking you the time to read these lineas and expect that they do anything to help you, happy and blessed day, greetings and strong embrace.