From Hating to Loving Myself: 5 Actionable Tips to a Positive Attitude Change

Life is never really easy, and every single day we are faced with several situations that require different approaches in life. There will be good days and there will definitely be bad days. Sadness, disappointments, and failure are inevitable. But what determines our fate is not the situation we are in, but our attitude in dealing with life's challenges.

I have been in several depressing situations before. But every time I am faced with a problem or a difficult situation I always take time to contemplate and really think things through. Several studies have already proven that self-talk is very important to put things into the right perspective. And this is something that I have proven to be true for myself. Through continued self-reflection, I was able to positively change my attitude towards life.

Let me tell you a story that you may already know.

_{There were two people inside a hospital room having a terminal illness. One was situated near the window, and the other one didn't have any view outside.}

_{The one near the window would always describe how the outer part of the hospital looks like. He mentioned about seeing trees having different colors - there were yellow, red, and green. He also said the flowers bloomed so beautifully and that they seemed like they were smiling for him. He also described how the sky was so blue, and how the sun's rays were shining upon him. It was everything he wished to see.}

_{On the other hand, the other man was very jealous of the man near the window. He wished every single day that he too could see the wonderful things his friend have seen. Until one day, the man near the window died. He was very excited to be transferred to where the dead man was staying. But when he was finally transferred, he only saw a wall. There was never a window! Then he saw a note, for him. After reading, he found out that his friend was only making up stories for him so he always has something to look forward to in life, and continue fighting for his life. He was jealous for nothing!}

In the story, there were two types of people. One chose to see the positive side of things and also made a way to inspire a friend by creating a wonderful picture for him through his stories. The other one only fed his mind with jealousy and didn't care about his friend's welfare. He only wanted to take the place of his friend, only to be disappointed in the end.

What kind of person are you? Are you the type who chooses to see the positive side of things despite having a bad situation? Or are you the type who chooses to compare your situation with others and being depressed for not having what they have? I used to ask myself these questions, and sadly, at one point in my life, I was the latter.

There was another question that I asked myself several times. "If you will meet yourself, would you like YOU?" Years ago, my answer was NO. But today, I am proud to say "YES, I will definitely like ME! :)

I went from "I hate myself" to "I love myself" and changing my attitude in life positively was the best decision I have made in my entire life! So today, I am sharing these 5 simple tips to positively improve your attitude in life too!

Have the proper mindset

Everything in life is about choices! It starts from the simplest of things: our choice to wake up in the morning and go (or not go) to work, our choice to live a healthy lifestyle or not, our choice in fashion, whether we take the cab or walk, and whether you want to be productive for the day! Everything is a matter of choice!

Our brain controls everything we do, hence the way we make choices is based on how we set our mind. Our mindset is all about our attitude in life and how we deal with challenges. So, having a proper mindset is imperative -- it is being aware of how your mind works. Be an observer of your mind, know its patterns. By becoming fully aware of your mind, you gain better control of how it works. So, when your brain starts to feed you with negative thoughts, intercept it with positive ones! Develop the habit of always seeing the good in everything.

Live fully in your present moment

I used to dwell in the past -- every wonderful and ugly thing about it. But, we should only learn from the past and move forward. There might be things that you wished you did or didn't do, but learn to appreciate what you have now. You can also look forward for the future, and prepare for it but never forget to live fully in your present moment! It's okay to look back or ahead once in a while, but NOT too much. HERE are NOW is where you should be focusing on. Once you have fully embraced that, you can learn to have more gratitude and optimism in your life. So do your best and live your best in your present moment!

Set goals and visualize them until you have them

I like setting goals and continue to fantasize about them until I achieve them. My goals have fueled me to work really hard because I want to achieve everything I set my mind to. Visualizing your goals could be done by always thinking about them, day in, day out. Some people even created vision boards to remind themselves of their goals. I remembered doing my first vision board through a contest initiated by @maverickinvictus. It was fun and it was a great way to assess what I want for myself.

When I was in college, I need to juggle study and work, while also being a mother to my child. I only had very few hours of sleep, sometimes none. But I thought continually of the day that I can finally graduate and the opportunities that await for me and my child when that happens. So, I kept going, and eventually graduated from college with honors. :)

Then for several years, my mother and I dreamed of having our own school since both of us are educators. I thought it was impossible, but with hard work, perseverance, and prayers, we were able to build our dream school! That was also the case when I decided to buy my own house and my own car. I couldn't stop fantasizing about them -- what I would do when I have my house and how I would decorate it, and where my son and I will go when we have our car! And those pictures that I created in my mind made me ecstatic! So I didn't stop working and I worked so hard until I got what I want! :)

Sometimes, we think things are impossible to achieve. But we only have to believe in ourselves and hold on to our goals, and nothing in life is really impossible!

Cultivate the Habit of Being Grateful

There is a song that we always sing at church that goes...

When upon life billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

This song always kept me grounded. Sometimes we are too consumed with our disappointments in life that we forget to appreciate the small things. At present, I have learned to appreciate even the smallest of things -- waking up in the morning, being healthy and well, having family and friends, having a job and business, and many more. When you focus more on the things you have, rather than those you haven't you will become happier and content in life.

Don't just look at the big things, sometimes the small things are the more important ones. So the next time you complain about your job, think about those who are unemployed. When you complain about not having a car, think about those who don't even have food to eat. And instead of complaining about being in a third world country, think about Syria and how the people there are fighting for their lives! If you think you are lacking at so many things, try to count your blessings and name them one by one. And you will be surprised at how blessed you are! :)

Surround yourself with positive people

Birds of the same feather flock together, cliche but true! At my age, my circle became smaller, but I have confidence in my circle. They are my family and a few trusted friends whom I know I can always count on no matter what.

Surround yourself with people who inspire you, motivate you, and support you but also remind you of your values and are not afraid to reprimand you when you suddenly become a pain in the ass! Be with people who believe in you but also make sure you always keep your feet on the ground. Surround yourself with people who don't judge you, but rather help you correct your actions when needed because they truly care for you. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you!

But more importantly, be a positive influence on others. Allow others to be inspired by your story. Be a source of light to those who are lost and empty!

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It took me years to really like the person that I am today. And it was not an easy journey. Everything I shared in this article was based on my own personal experience that I found really helpful and effective in improving the quality of my life! I hope with these 5 simple tips you will be motivated to be the best version of yourself!

Before I will end this article, I will leave you with a quote to live by from the great philosopher Mahatma Gandhi.

Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny.

_{Image sources: 3 , 4}

Thank you for reading! :)

Maine