Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Yesterday in a client session we were talking about stress, workload and whether it is positive or negative. If you haven't noticed, everyone you know is good at handling stress until they aren't. I know people who while they are on stress leave still claim they are good at handling stress and assume that it was that their workload was the problem.
The uncomfortable issue here is that there is usually a person that sits beside them and does the exact same job with an identical workload but, isn't on stress leave. Most people of course don't think about preparing for stress until they are already under it, too late.
But, the conversation progressed from there and went into the area of younger (my clients were in their 50s) generations and their tendencies for instant gratification and impatience as well as the sense of entitlement to privileges they are yet to earn. But, how could they really be any other way when speed of all things is now so fast?
Depending on how old you are, you might remember waiting for an image to download on the internet, a letter to arrive in the mail, a boat to arrive from another country. Speed of everything has increased massively in every area of our lives and information is always available at the fingertips now. Questions that required patience to get an answer no longer do so to the point that people can't even make it through a 30 minute show without googling what other show is that actor from?
If someone doesn't respond to a Whatsapp message in a few minutes, they are considered inconsiderate whereas my father would have waited months for international letters to be sent and then arrive back on the letterbox for even the simplest of things. We have made information and service so fast across so many areas that the skill of patience has degraded to the point where people are unable to control themselves if their desires aren't satisfied immediately.
We can see the consequences of this when it comes to all areas of life whether it be developing a relationship, repairing a relationship or breaking up. People move in fast, fight fast, leave fast. We can see it in traffic situations with the increase of road rage. We can see it in the violent outbursts and crimes of passion. We can see it in the entitlement attitudes of getting pay rises and the seed at which people lose interest with their jobs or, the latest trends. We see it in the expectation of how fast the blockchain industry should grow or mainstream. We see it in how frustrated people get if Steem goes down for 12 hours.
We have connected progress of society so heavily to the speed at which things happen that our cognitive abilities to understand time itself have warped and, our emotional ability to maintain composure in anticipation has fallen off a cliff. No matter how complex a project or industry may be, they are expected to advance ever faster to satisfy an ever growing hunger for more and more and more.
We have created a society of toddlers going through their terrible twos crying, kicking and screaming in the shop and demanding their parents buy them the candy that is so conveniently placed a t eye level for a two year old. The problem is that due to the way we monetize the populace by continually enabling and feeding the addictive compulsions, most are never going to grow up.
Delayed gratification is the number one skill to developing a strong position for the future because it allows the opportunity to work, save and build the foundation now that becomes the future's base. It is also the skill that has been ripped out of the human psyche by the plethora of ways we are targeted to satisfy a bottom line somewhere. Credit cards, payment terms, access speeds, on-demand services, instant notifications, push messages, mobile access to all information, news cycles, 24-hour shopping, overnight delivery...
The speed of service means there is no chance for the cool-down period of the past, the chance to not instant gratify through impulse purchases. There is no space for the compelled and excited mind to ask the question, Do I really need this, do I even want it? It is so easy to satisfy the material needs.
The funny thing is that when it comes to anything that requires investment, effort, energy, planning; people wait. People wait to start that new hobby, wait to learn that skill, wait to start saving for the future, wait to get a job, go to the gym, eat better... Instant gratify in the meaningless, avoid the meaningful.
We all suffer from this in some way, we all want what we want and we want it as fast as we can possibly get it but, when it comes to large scale projects and significant changes to society or personal position, rarely is anything going to happen as instantaneously as we have come to expect. The myriad advertisements that promise overnight success, the shills on Youtube, the out of nowhere stars born, the endless news stories of instant rich through lotteries and luck are cherry picked half-truths. They do happen but for the vast majority of whatever you might identify as a successful person, it is a consistent and conscientious effort over long periods of time.
What this means is that we have developed a global community of people who do not hold the necessary skills for successful independent living. They will always be reliant on others for their needs because they are unable to invest themselves long enough to be able to provide for themselves. It s a culture designed to work on credit and live in a continual debt cycle that slowly screws downward reducing opportunity for many while creating massive upward growth for a few.
You know that annoying child in the back of the car that keeps asking, Are we there yet? They are only in that position because they are unable to drive themselves. If they did have the skills, if they were at the wheel, they would know that they weren't there and they would know why they aren't there yet because it takes time to travel distance, whether it is to the local shop, another city or another country.
It takes time to develop a world shifting technology, it takes time to make it ubiquitous, it takes time to fix bugs, it takes time to create anything of value. If we aren't the ones doing it ourselves though, we do not understand this which makes it seems that all these things that happen, happen quickly and we undervalue the work of all the people involved for years on end to get anything of substance built at all.
What I have found is that the most impatient people in this world are the ones who have always had everything at their fingertips, buy their desires and expect availability of what they want, when they want it. They are the spoiled children, the inheritance generations. They are the consumers, not the creators, the passengers, not the drivers.
We all learn things from our environment that we can use as excuses for how we behave but, that doesn't mean we have to behave that way. The world has been set up to support status quo, what changes that isn't a vote for a politician, it is the movement of the many. It takes a lot of time yet most are much too impatient to be able watch a movie to the end without picking up their phone and turning their attention to consume something else.
In every generation though, some will move. Is that us?
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
Wait, or put it off, because it won't get a result straight away, whereas other things give instant gratification?
Instant information is so addictive. It's one of the reasons I try hard to avoid upgrading to the latest things. At gymnastics competitions there is an app which gets updated with the scores add the competition progresses. While everyone around me was getting their daughter's scores and lamenting at them getting lower in the placings as other scores came in, I just waited to see what the placings were at the end. I didn't even have a device that could take the app until recently. I still refuse to use it at comps, because I'd rather assess how she's going compared to earlier in the year, plus it makes any podium placings a nice surprise. Don't get me wrong, the temptation to check the results as they come in is strong! I find it less stressful if I don't though.
My daughters didn't have phones until my eldest could buy her own with her own earnings. They were always with me all the time anyway, or they were in a situation with other adults where we could get in touch if needed. I tried to teach them how to deal with situations and think for themselves, rather than calling me for every little thing.
I think I frustrate people sometimes, because I don't immediately answer every text, message or call. I generally don't have my devices on me.
It is amazing what drives us to check these types of things like sports scores or the actor in the movie. It is some kind of dopamine hit based on the idea that 'being the first' with information has an advantage. It is true but, the relevancy of the information is critical yet we tend to focus most of our attention on what is useless. Here in Finland, most kids have phones at 5 or 6 it seems.
It's getting that way in Australia too. I was amazed at the teacher needing to collect in iPhones from a class of 9 to 10 year olds about 8 years ago. Why does a child that age even need a phone, let alone one that was way out of my (willing to spend) price range!? I've since heard of 7 year olds with them.
LOL!
This talk I hear a lot. But you of course know the answer. Kids are smart. They watch the world around them and do automatically adapt to their environment. When all people do use computers and smart phones, thats what they do, too. Its normal and quite a sensible thing to do.
The parents in the classroom where we had a parent evening with the teachers were asking themselves annoyed why our kids do have so much difficulties in using hand writing. After a while of the complaints I had enough and asked:
What do you want? Does anyone of you here in the room write with your hand? We all work with computers and we all use keyboards for our communication. The one and only exception where I use my hand for writing is the shopping list. It's quite logical that the writing skills of ourselves differ from those of our kids as we weren't raised surrounded by technology.
Remember, you were a kid, too. What did you find in adults? Who were your role models and what was back than a majority you observed? Kids always want to belong to the most accepted establishment and dislike to be a member of the not so well acknowledged group, let alone be a single outsider.
You can perceive yourself lucky if, as an adult or parent, you are having other adults who do the same in role modeling and give some counterweight to what is main streamed. If you must do it alone, you'll fail in doing so because your kids will not believe you.
Also, phones are now widely used by parents to have control over their kids. Ask fathers or mothers if they like their children being away from home without a phone.
Why do teachers even complain about collecting phones or installing the rule that mobile phone use is prohibited during school time? That's a normal thing to do. In my time, we also weren't allowed to let ourselves being distracted by books which did not belong to the current teachings (or other devices we brought along).
:))
I am all with you to use modern communication tools sensibly and not excessively.
Some very good points. Perhaps I understand it less because I don't use mobiles much myself and I certainly can't justify expensive contracts for myself, nevermind my children. I don't see a need for using the internet on my phone, so I don't use it for that either. Most things can wait until I get home for an internet connection.
I do think that, despite how little we use it, having the ability to hand write is a good backup to have for when things fail, which does happen. We still write greetings cards by hand and even fill in forms occasionally. More than that, though, as more and more first world people fall into poverty with jobs being harder to get, having the ability to do things that don't require computers and mobile phones could be essential to them getting by.
The education system here fails some of our poorer children because they demand that they have laptops for everything and students get into trouble for not being able to afford one, when the school hasn't organised ones for borrowing. This is a country which is supposed to provide free education for all children, but our poor are being left behind. Rather than accepting manual ways for them to learn they punish them for not being able to afford devices. Our poor population is expanding rapidly at the moment.
Sorry, going way of topic now! Your comment sent me on a train of thought. Lol.
Thanks for engaging with me:)
I am the same you are. I am not having Internet on my phone (it's not smart but a simple phone only for sms and calls). I am the 5 percent looking out the window or observing others in the bus. I'd find it too stressful to look always at my phone.
Kids don't find it stressful, obviously. I do not promote that and always tell my son I'd prefer him not using his mobile in the public. When we go together he doesn't do it because he never sees me doing it. Home is different, though. I am always online and have access to the Net. He, too. And 95 percent of the adults:)
You need not to pity poor families in the class. Do you have one or two of them? At the next meeting with parents and teachers you can raise that question and start to collect money from the others, the rest must be collected by the school/board or whatever. There are always solutions to those poorer families when they are surrounded by richer ones. Nobody is left behind in a rich country/city, that is mostly a myth. All financial problems can be solved when people work together locally.
I made good experiences with this attitude in class. Whenever a question was raised from a parent when it comes to help the poorer ones almost no one had any problems to contribute either financially or with materials to give or to borrow.
Unfortunately it's not just one or two poor children and those who manage to scrape by and find that extra for a laptop aren't exactly in a position to be able to help those even worse off. Unemployment in this area currently stands at over 35% and prospects aren't improving. Anyone who can afford it will usually put their children in private schooling, which is actually still government funded, but you pay a few thousand a year too, how much depends on the school. So those in a position to help a bit are often not in the same schools.
This isn't so much of an issue in primary school. There they make sure every child is catered for. It's high school where it can start to become a problem, because the things they need are much more expensive.
Never heard of this phenomena. There is a facility which uses laptops (!) as a standard in a school where unemployment is at 35% and does not provide for the laptops? Are in your country worse of areas not supported by governmental and civil efforts?
Maybe then a new decision has to be made at this school. ... Sometimes parents have to become more political and start talking to the officials in order to create some change. ...
Here in Hamburg we have poorer and richer kids in one school. Laptops aren't used here (only private learning purposes) until end of school, I guess (my son just attended 8th class). And if use is required in certain classes, the school provides for them.
This is a thorough and wondefully illustrated treatment of the issue at hand. Putting the issue of the price of Steem aside, which causes anxiety for obvious economic reasons, the whole idea of the generational gap widenign up when it comes to entitlement, the concept of time and driving vs being in the back seat, is fascinating.
I guess it has become very hard to reconcile a society driven by immediacy and fast-paced tech advancements with hard work values (there is a time for this, and there is a time for that, and then there is a time for just waiting); it feels like we don't have time to lose because everything piles up pretty quickly.
We see this is the very dynamic of interaction in Steemit. How many posts can we possibly read, comment, upvote? In how many discord channels can we be active? How long can we be connected? Can we still live life as we are supposed to (family, friends, nature)?
Many at some point have to pause and rewind (if that's a possibility), get off the train and walk, maybe.
Time off for breathing and contemplation? for real planning and more assertive actions?
yet, where we spend the majority of our time is consuming information that has very little nutritional value.
This is why we should be much pickier with what and who we spend our time in my opinion.
people think that where they are going is more important than what they do along the way to get there. If we aren't where we want to be, there is nothing of value to see. It goes against everything that has ever been taught about the journey, not the destination.
This gets me going. I have had the younger generation have melt downs because they couldn't cope. Work is a four letter word and it is what it is. I don't have the patience anymore being asked are you happy with what I am doing etc. They need to grow up and last longer than a couple of weeks. Jobs are hard to come by and cushy ones are even harder. i just get frustrated as they literally have no idea as they have been spoilt all their lives.
And they don't seem to have any idea or perhaps, are unwilling to acknowledge just what is coming down the road in this area. 'Hard to come by' could be a welcome relief.
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Even for someone who was born not that long before the internet revolution it can be hard to adapt to the pace of modern "data processing". It's already been shown that if you try hard to keep pace, you brains will adapt -- those who constantly use the internet store data in their brains differently. And now we'll also have to adapt to the prevalence of AI data processing! Those born into the latest stages of human cybernetification won't have have the issues we have.
I doing a bit of a personal experiment in attention-partitioning and brain adaptability, by forcing myself to take breaks or switch activities based on a timer. I've not narrowed down my own optimal timing window and the information that is already out there is frankly not much help, but switching focus in under an hour does help keep the brain refreshed and at peak performance (from my own observations so far). It's terribly annoying though, interrupting a focused activity base on your phone's alarm clock!
I think that study might be a little chick or the egg.
I think that it could be even a little more random than this so it doesn't become too habitualised as good habits today can become tight constraints tomorrow. Although the brain will evolve, the speed of evolution is unlikely to keep pace with the flow of information. Factor in that most information is irrelevant and it is going to cause a range of other problems. As I see it, there are certain core functions that are degrading such as the ability to laterally think and be creative.
Excellent and thoughtful post. Happily resteemed. You shold have also brought up The Marshmallow Experiment. This is a perfect article to talk about it.
Thank you :) I have talked about it before from time to time so I don't want to repeat too often :D
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A simply excellent piece...
Namaste, JaiChai