LOL no but feel free to read it that way. Hell, read it over a low-key jazz backing Shatner-style and submit it to the Steemit Open Mic: https://steemit.com/openmic/@luzcypher/open-mic-night-week-2-record-your-musical-performance-using-just-a-phone-and-win-steem-dollars

$10 SBD to you if you do. Serious.