Spectator

Spectator

Just sit down to look, without participating, without receiving, without giving, without accepting, without offering, without comment, without experiencing.
Only that is allowed.
Shame covers me? Yes.
Does the pain fill me? Yes
Loneliness accompanies me? Yes
Does sadness visit me? Yes
That living a lonely, sad, suffering and ashamed life is not easy? Of course not.
But you had to make the decision: if you live with all that or die killing others.
What would you have chosen?
Pain in one is more bearable than mass anguish.
My decision was the correct one. Although many times the crying is uncontrollable. My decision was the correct one.
I have the peace of mind that I did what was in my hands to not be alone today, I was not given the things, I tried and that is my greatest calm.

Today I only have that function: to be a spectator.
A spectator of endless love, of offspring, of inheritance, of the gifts of youth, of caresses and kisses, of gifts and honor, of sweet and pink glances, of ornate and seasoned words.
None of that will I have.
But I have my health and the tranquility that others are reassured by me.

Nancy Coromoto Rojas Salazar
Cumaná. Edo. Sucre. Venezuelan
Sunday, 13 may 2018 2:27am