Poem #1 Alive

I really wish I could find you.
Where did you go?
Did you find a place to run to or did you just want me to leave you alone?
I'm confused
I thought it would always last.
Now I'm stuck in the past.
Trying to hold myself together when everyone breaks apart but now that moments passed.
Just give me a hand.
Nah fuck that I can stand myself.
Fuck the booze I gotta focus on my health.
I'm tired of dreaming when no one around wants success.
I'm tired of wanting the best.
I'm tired of not feeling my heart beat in my chest.
I'm tired of feeling lovesick when I'm a fucking mess.
On the back of my neck I can feel the devils breath.
I just want to live without feeling death.
Sitting around waiting for the somedays.
Late night and early morning replays.
It's a vicious cycle.
A fight for survival with these suicidal thoughts.
I need a revival.
Sick of being stuck in idle cause I just want to go far away.
Can't do anything because there's always a price to pay.
Sick of being broken down.
Trying to stay afloat but I'm starting to drown.
Every smile you see, you miss at least two frowns.
I'm going for gold even if it's on my own.
No more waiting cause I'm feeling old.
No more love since I'm going cold.
So cold..
But wait, there's a light I can see.
End of the tunnel keeps calling to me.
There's a beauty.
I feel like she'll offer relief.
She calms my mind when it's driving me crazy.
Never felt her touch but every man can dream.
Keep getting closer in this fantasy.
She's going to make me king, cause she's already queen.
She doesn't know it yet but she's saving me.
Guiding me to this path of totality.
I feel a pulse inside.
Sun came up and now I can't hide.
The world started speaking and it wants me to remind everyone of that kid who wanted to thrive.
Here I am.
ALIVE.

Thanks for reading! This is my first post to steemit and you can expect more from me.