Restless Bag of Bones

I'm a run down man from a washed out town.
I've tried to stand but can't find the footing.
Everything is passing by as the current drags me along.
I can't help but wonder if this is a blessing or a curse.

I would like to think it was fate or destiny,
But that is hard to believe.
Was this my plan all along?
To slowly drift as the world is passing me by.
My head bobbing,
reminding me at any moment I could drown.
I sure hope not though.

I prefer the pain, to non existence.
I prefer to dream, to experience, to live.
No matter what each day brings,
it still comes with me experiencing life.
No box in the earth can make me feel like this.
No metallic urn can push me in the right direction

As I float, the water laps my face.
it keeps me aware,
It keeps me awake,
It keeps me human.
A reference point of such.
So that at anytime I can remember exactly where i was.

I can Time Travel.
I can go back to the moment where i first fell in,
I can relive the moment when I started hating myself,
I can visit the place where my feet scraped bottom,
and I thought i would get to stand for the firs time.
I can witness my growth as a person.
I can see the man I was and the man I am,
but not the man I will become.
That part seems fuzzy,
Like the feeling you get when you realize your in love,
and you can't stop smiling because it surprised you.

Part of me wishes this ride would end,
The rest of me can't wait to see whats around the corner.
What ever happens.
It will be my choice.
It will be my doing, or undoing.

No.
This is not Fate or Destiny
This is my self full-filling prophecy.
I grew tired and gave up.
Now i'm restless,
A lost soul with no home.
I will fix this if its not already too late.