Dangerous Women

in #poetry6 years ago

I've met, like, 75 women. I found each of them to be very dangerous. In most cases they were, true to type, armed. This base-level "oh, yes, of course, I am afraid of being killed by women" sort of danger I can stand, up to a point. But to be menaced by women? Is that justice? I ask you: Is it justice to be menaced by women?

Think of the consequences.

Think of future generations.

You might say that heavily armed women are a scourge wielded by Our Lord Most High and I would have to agree with you. I cannot speak for other men, or indeed any man, apart from myself and a man who works for me (that man is my best friend and I have his proxy), but I am a sinner for whom no punishment is too severe. If men as a whole are anything like me, I mean remotely similar... a bear doesn't think about it... or rather... it doesn't bear thinking about.

Original sin? A rib for an albatross? IS THAT JUSTICE?

No, I say. Women are unfair to be so violent, powerful, and rich. It is shitty of them, truly. The constant meditation, restrictive dieting, training day in day out. How did we get here? Where will it stop? Ladies, please! Please! Ladies! Women! Lay down your weapons, return to dating sites, resume your hobbies, we have our own Netflix subscription, we
have been learning to cook and play guitar, we got haircuts, we have side-gigs and achievable dreams, let us back in it is so fucking cold out here. Ladies.
-a very telling dream had by the best and brightest in our society, translated for you here from their native tongue to that of the common man and accompanied by Ricky Tomfoolery on the brass.

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