Bare Hands

in #poetry7 years ago

A plume of green mirrors grows
next to a barren wall of bark
two bodies bursting from the ground
beside a tower of red brick.

The roots snake through sand and clay
only stopping for the smoldering asphalt above.

A hushed breath carries through Spanish Moss
dancing like strands of loose hair,
and dead leaves
tumble onto tire tracks in the grass.

The moment is interrupted
by the screaming engine
of a speeding bike
on a lonely highway.

Nature does not grow around us.
We impose ourselves inside it
and kill the empty space
with our sweating hands.

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Hey! Thanks for the really solid constructive criticism on my piece! I appreciate it. On steemit, you might want to include a picture- pixabay is a really good resource for free use photos, but there's a ton of others. You could also team up with an artist here on steem and see if they'd be willing to let you feature their art with your poetry. Poems with art or a photo of some kind are way more likely to get seen.

I don't know if you're on discord at all, but there's a lot of good groups for writers and to help support minnows:

The Minnow Support Project: upvoting bots and radio shows, huge and lots of opportunities to network. I run the poetry workshop there, if you're interested in coming in and giving feedback, or getting feedback.

Isle of Write: Great place to relax with other writers, chat, get feedback. Also has a poetry workshop

Writers Block: Also has writers workshops, poetry workshop is pretty busy and a great place to offer feedback or get feedback.

Feel free to tag me if you join any of them! My steemit name is the same as my discord name.

What up brodi!? I just sent you some love from minnow booster, I appreciate your response on:

https://steemit.com/poetry/@grandpooba/rhyming-in-daily-colors-a-case-of-the-red-monday-s

I am still writing my response but should have it done before long. Just wanted you to know I really appreciate the advice! made my day man. I'll be following you. Talk to ya soon.

Your from Tampa!? pssshhh..... Seminole BLVD baby that's my old stomping grounds. I'll be back down by spring though, maybe we can catch a drink and bs.

I live over by international mall in Westshore at the moment. Haven't been in that direction since I went to USF four years back.