missing you

I
Miss
You
But i understand that is more for me than it could ever be for you.

Notes/caption

Wanting doesn't always mean wanted.
Nor does my missing you mean that you miss me. I understand this.

I have often heard people say things like "I miss you so much it hurts" and I used to relate to that until I came to an understanding that the act of missing someone alone doesn't hurt. It is wishing for those feelings to be reciprocated and being met with a closed heart that hurts. Often when we miss someone the first thing we think to do is text or call to let them know that we are thinking about them. It is when you don't get a response that missing someone starts to hurt and that hurts because in a way they have silently given you an answer you don't want to hear "thank you but I don't miss you nor am I thinking of you"

So at most when I miss someone, especially the people I want who have never really wanted me back (because those are sadly the ones we miss most) I keep it to myself. I skip the texting and calling part. I sit myself down instead and ask this question; "what is it in me that is dysfunctional because this person is not here. Why do I miss her so much" and then I try to fill those void spaces, those spaces that are screaming "something/someone is missing"...I work on filling those with more of my truth.
Every time I miss someone who I know doesn't care about me as much as I would like for them to, I remember that that's an oppprtunity for me to plant the seed of self love.

PS I had a brief moment of missing someone and decided to finally get my academic portfolio done 💖💖💖