There are no words

With it being Memorial Day weekend and coming from a military family, there is a nausea that arises when I think of all who have perished in the name of "peace". Please do not take this as disrespect of any way, I have the utmost respect for our servicemen, women and dogs. Their Sacrifice is unmeasurable. I Pray for Peace so that none will need make that sacrifice.

This is some prose I wrote when my Son was in Korea in the Army. As I said, utmost respect for our soldiers, you might pick up a slightly different tone for our government... I am one of the lucky ones, my Son came back.

There are no words

I know the words will come…
I know the words will come…
I know the words will come…

I sit here with my Chai…and silence
waiting for the words to come…
and I realize there are no words.

There are no words to describe
the love a Mother feels
the first time she feels movement within her womb,
or the feeling that our hearts will burst
as we look upon our newborn child,
two souls…joined as one, eternally.

There are no words to describe
the joy as we see their first smile,
the excitement as we watch them discover their world
or the pride as we watch them grow into
their unique and wonderful “selves”.

There are no words to describe
the tug on our hearts as they run to our arms
with tears in their eyes
or the shared frustration as they stumble and fall,
over and over...

Their smell is like a steaming hot bath
that soothes and comforts every cell of our being,
their hugs the most healing thing on earth.

There are no words to describe
the fear that we feel
as we watch them walk away.
We know they must follow their own path,
we know “all is as it should be”
We pray for their greater good
and for the strength to be able
to endure whatever that may bring.

No One in this lifetime has ever broken my heart,
except my Children.
No One has taken me to the highest highs or lowest lows,
except my Children.
What a gift they are to me.

I came here to experience love,
giving, receiving, feeling, breathing…love.

I have chastised myself so many times
for “failing” at “romantic” love,
feeling as if I will certainly have to come back again,
as I have “flunked” my mission.
But I realize now
that I have NOT failed!
I have excelled!

There is NO love greater than that between Mother & Child,
at least not in this dimension.
There is NO higher call than to give unconditionally to another.
For better or worse,
through happiness and pain.
We sacrifice physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
to give, for their well being.

WE are MOTHERS!
Goddesses who bring forth life!
and then nurture it, regardless of the cost.

There are no words to describe
the pain…
the sickness that we feel
as we watch our children
die for the sake of power, lies and money.

We are overwhelmed with the sadness
of ALL the Mothers..
who have had to bury their souls.
WHEN will they listen??
How many must die??

A piece of my soul wears a military uniform now.
This beautiful boy,
with a kind and generous heart,
who has been raised on love and “oneness” with all
has been brainwashed into believing
that killing in the name of peace is righteous.
He trusts our government
and believes their lies,
because it hurts him too much
to even consider their deception.

There are no words to describe
the fear that I live in …every day.
The helplessness as I watch him
march towards his death.
Not his physical death…
that I can handle
because I know the joy that awaits him
once he sheds this human body.

No, I fear the death that comes
when he looks upon the lifeless body
of the “enemies” child…
and sees his daughter lying before him,
“his” Mother weeping at her side.

I fear the death that comes from seeing the Truth…
from knowing that you cannot kill another
without killing a piece of yourself.

The realization
that WAR is not a game,
it is the destruction of our very being.
It is the lesson that we refuse to learn,
so it comes again… and again… and again.

The death that comes from finally understanding
how precious life is,
how much you love and miss someone
and would give ANYTHING to hold them…
one more time...
One more hug…

The death that comes from realizing
that you have been deceived,
and you allowed it.

There are no words, only tears.

KC
2005