Dilemma of a proud Nigerian father

Dilemma of a proud Nigerian Father

These "words" have succeeded in shutting my mouth.
My lips have suddenly become a dumbbell
like they were never meant to ring.
My mind is shouting but my ear objects saying
it didn't hear a sound.
The silence can still be felt.
I know it is madness but not so much, it has to show.
A filled glass of emptyness has been my only meal.
Who could blame me.
Maybe if i had had a little more of me,
Then it wouldn't feel so wrong
I have been served a cold blend of death and life
Stirred perfectly to taste
My own , my very own un-favourite taste.
How on earth I miss her,
O! my very own unfavourite taste
How can I mention it
After all I did was spit her out
Like the unwanted mucus of a coughing patient
Spat unto dust and threaded upon.
How can I tell her "I am sorry"
She is only a woman without a third leg
between her legs.
I can't possibly mention I love her.
But why can't I,
Who made me this peacock?
Chasing rats while my house is ablaze
Valuing my feathers more than my heart
Pls come home D,
I miss u, please come back home
I am sorry
I love u.