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RE: An Ode to Slack - Original Haiku by @complexring

in #poetry8 years ago (edited)

Inspired by the simplicity of these words... Here is one --

As times stillness remains quiet.
Things change wile I sleep
to wake again.

Gotcha, it was my first one...

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I think you need to remove the still in the second line after things. Then, it's a proper Haiku. I anticipate the edit and have already upvoted. ;)

i always maintain that technology takes control of the world over population... as years keep coming, technology is positively responding to ease man's problem...