School Taught Me Nothing – THANK YOU, GRANDMA!steemCreated with Sketch.

in #poetry6 years ago

"Hussshhh …" Grandma and me, we've got a secret. She clandestinely gives me the attention I need, every night after I got sent to bed. I still see her beautiful face through the banister, I duck, I hide, I skulk, she holds her finger in front of her mouth. Nobody knows I visit her one floor down, each and every night.


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I have to creep through the corridor, cross my sibling's rooms and be very quiet. I stop, lurk around the corner. Flickering TV lights, my parents don't exchange a word, strangers are loudly talking in foreign terms. This is the only moment I could be disclosed. The seconds in which I cross the open door to the room my parents are in. They don't care. In all those years, they have never noticed me. I weasel around the corner, open the door to the stairway in a silent swing, while I wiggle around, through the door and close it. Like a ninja. One of the things grandma taught me without ever saying a single word. Her special witchcraft. She made me feel the desire to become good at things. Like with this ritual. If I wanted to have this secret with her, I needed to teach myself how to move invisibly, how to escape from authorities and become my own. Autodidactic & independence is first on the list of things she taught me.

Standing in the darkness, at the tip of the stairways is when it reliably rushes in. A fountain in my belly, bubbling upwards, millions of little lightning striking through my torso, my fingers tingle while I run down the stairs. The excitement of devotion, number two on the list. I am slightly scared by monsters and cutthroats hiding in the dark, grandma is worth all the angst in the world, love is worth fighting monsters. Nobody ever told me that, I lived it every night. My heart tries beating through my chest, reaching out to her as if in a race with the rest of my body. I am pure energy, enlightening the night. Downstairs, I pass a further corridor, before I finally enter the part of the house that smells like home. I dart to the living room, both arms outstretched and jump onto the couch between grandma and grandpa. She smiles at me as if surprised I would visit her. She welcomes me with open arms, I cuddle myself into her soft shelter and she tells me the things a little girl needs to hear and listens to my worries. We're done as soon as she starts smirking. Time for my secret bedtime sweets. She takes my hand and leads me to her pantry. I love this place. It's packed with her wonderworks. Jar over jar, filled with all sorts of fruits from her garden, drowned in her affection for nurturing. Bacon hanging from the ceiling, some salami, cheese – Grandma could bring us all through a catastrophe. This room is her life investment. It's where she hides her sweets also and I can pick from an immense collection. I open my tiny hands and tell her what I want. She puts it into my hands, gently closes them and starts her prayer, with her hands folded over mine. I close my eyes and lean into her cushy voice.


«When at night I go to sleep
Fourteen angels watch do keep
Two my head are guarding
Two my feet are guiding
Two are on my right hand
Two are on my left hand
Two who warmly cover
Two who o’er me hover
Two to whom ’tis given
To guide my steps to heaven

Sleeping softly, then it seems
Heaven enters in my dreams;
Angels hover round me,
Whisp'ring they have found me;
Two are sweetly singing,
Two are garlands bringing,
Strewing me with roses
As my soul reposes.
God will not forsake me
When dawn, at last, will wake me.»


She told me stories from the bible and read them with me. I learned reading this way. "You don't need to believe in God" she said, knowing my parents wouldn't appreciate her teachings, "but you need to know those stories and you need to know how to pray. And try to remember every number you read in there. And don’t be fooled!" I didn't notice how much she made me learn back then. I recognize it today. Almost every day.


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Granny holding my baby


Once I asked her how to bake a bread and she took me for a walk. We went to a farmer nearby and she asked him if I was allowed to pick some wheat from his field. With his permission we roamed through the field and I collected some of it. Back home she told me to search for a stone that perfectly fitted my hand. I found one, she handed me a bowl made from thick stone and showed me how to grind the wheat. I started with excitement, got immediately exhausted and somewhat disappointed when I noticed that this work would take me days. “Good, you found this stone that fits your hand that perfect” is what she said.

"Did you have a fitting stone when you were my age?" I asked her. She shook her head. "No, I wasn't as lucky as you are. There was no time for things like that when I was your age." She told me a lot about these times. How families and neighbors stuck together and supported each other with works like crop, building and renovating houses, taking care of their animals and belongings. Responsibility is what she taught me, leading by example. That there’s joy in hard work and fulfillment in patience along with choosing wisely. Her lessons were spot-on.

I lived in her stories. Every day, dreaming away to a reality where people took care like my grandma took of me. Beside her, nobody in my family made me feel safe. If it wasn't for her, I may have become the narcissist my mother is. It's my grandmother's love and wisdom that made me the person I am today. A big part of it. My beliefs, my faith, my confidence, my trust, my passion, the way I feel connected to mother earth and beings from another realm, at least 18 of them, which is 9, in case no one ever taught you that …

Whatever she taught me, it started from scratch. After we had baked my first bread, more a bun actually, I had to start growing my own wheat for the next bread we were going to bake. The next time I didn’t had to grind it. She showed me her mill and how to use it. She showed me her needles, first, the sewing machine second. Deep understanding and using all your senses were her kind of things, Oma didn’t like superficiality. She made me listen to nature, see and admire the little things, talk to animals and plants, she sang traditional songs for me that taught me about a long, lost culture I learned nothing in school about. The roots of this ancient land I stood on. Her gifts were thoughtful in a way, I but today discover. She gave me rose quartz, a necklace with an Aries pendant, a coral necklace, lots of gemstones. I didn’t find them anything else but beautiful, today I understand she choose them to heal and safe me. The education my mother had in mind for me was different. She more cared about a shiny surface. She dragged me into all sorts of different activities I didn’t like. My schedule was packed.

Piano lessons, swimming competitions, playing the flute, giving concerts, riding horses, playing volleyball, tennis, … For her I had to compete a lot. My grandmother freed me from these toxic ways of thinking. She never expected me to be good at anything else than taking care of me. And she loved me, no matter what. She prepared me for a world, she knew I wouldn’t fit in easily and gave me the power to create my own one.

When today I go to bed,
I trust that I will be led.
Two veils are lifting,
Two poles are shifting,
Two worlds splitting,
Two realms knitting,
Two realities meet and turn into one.
Two plants from one seed are being born,
To grow towards the heavenly sky,

Almost touching but just coming nigh.
I can see hands reaching for my soul,
And listen to grandma preaching to a choir.
While I still wander, still reaching beyond.
The choir of angels translating her words,
Into tunes like miracles never been heard.
Two tunes are touching my heart,
Two hands taking me back to the start.
Where the universe begins,
and ends the same time.
Mirroring twins,
Making everything rhyme.

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Thank you for everything, Oma Anna. I don’t miss you. I feel you every day.

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What a beautiful story. You had such a nice relations with your grandma. And she was obviously a wise woman. I love the way she was teaching you things. I have never had to grind the wheat but I can imagine it is a never-ending and painful process :) But it's good to learn the hard way and then use the equipment/technology/or whatever else is needed for the process.

I also lived with my grandma when I was between 6 months and 2 years. At that time there were no kindergardens for such small kids and my mom had to work so I lived there during the weekdays. I actually don't remember much from that time but I just wanted to say that grandmas would do anything to help their grandchildren :) It's such a special bond..

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!

Hey @delishtreats, let me tell you something even more beautiful. … maybe a bit weird, also. I read your comment at the library while standing in line for a piece of cake in their cafeteria when someone next to me said: "Wow! This message must be amazing!" I looked at him and he said: "You're having heavy goosebumps!"
Which even multiplied the way I was feeling about your comment anyway. Thank you for this comment and for initiating this beautiful moment for me. You made me happy. I think you should know that. :)

My grandmother lived downstairs too. A lot of who she was is still in me too, which allows me to now link younger people to the greater, Godly wisdom she represented in a CRAZY modern world. Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for your response. I wanted to write this piece for a long time and I am glad I finally found the right words to honor her. I am glad it resonates with someone and very grateful that there are some grannies out there saving the planet! :)

Hey @mayb, awesome story. My grandmother also lifed in a seperate appartment in our house. I was lucky enough that I could spend a lot of time with her. Your story makes me sentimental cause she passed away a year ago.

Your story about learning from your grandmother reminds me of mine. She used to tell me stories out of her life and gave advices I wouldn't get from someone else! I congratulate you to your awesome relationship with your grandmother! It is something special only limited children/adults can experience!

Keep up the good work.
Cheers,
M

Thank you @mcnestler. Isn't it wonderful to live with your grandparents? Part of my intention with this post was to show how valuable it is to live as a big family. It's why I am telling about the old days she told me about. And it is why I called this post School taught me nothing aaand it is the reason for using the #familyprotection tag also.

But most of all, of course, because of ich liebe Oma Anna. :)

Hello there @mayb!

Awwwe! There is no greater love than for our grannies! They do take a big part of us, not to mention they are our best buddies in the family and the best spoilers ever. We are fortunate enough that we could have live the years with our grand parents around. Mine was not that long because it was cut short due to some illness he could not waver.

Thank you for the lovely post, it had also reminded me of my grannies too. I do miss them a lot especially when I see my children now and seeing them with my parents. True enough there are lots of secrets shared with them. And i could only laugh reminiscing the memories.

I am sure your granny is proud of what you had become today. I love your poems too. Its sooooo sweeet!

Cheers! ⚘

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thanks a lot for your warm reply. Yes, she is proud. She told me when I wrote this post. ;)

You are most welcome..

Ohh that is just great..

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Hi @mayb, thanks for sharing this wonderful piece of your life.
I also remember how my grandmother loved me when I was little. The ultimate feeling of being accepted no matter what! What an intense feeling is that right? Intense as well as real, big, unreplaceable and very rare I think. Growing up, learning more about people around you, people outside your close environment and even further, teaches you how real and true that love was/is.

Thanks again!

I am happy it resonates with you. I wanted to write this post or such a long time and was a bit frightened about it. Since it's for her it has to be perfect. After reading it over and over again I don't find it perfect but it definitely honors her the way I hoped it would. This is the most successful post I ever put on the blockchain. :)
And, yet again, Oma Anna taught me to be pleased about the fruits of my work. To not focus on what's not ok with it, but rather see the capacity to grow. :)

Indeed! I think she would say: Just do your best, that’s good enough. So you dont have to describe things “perfect”, just do your best ;)
Thanks again!

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wooaw wooaw....such a wonderful story you have in there with your grandma. I always say, school only gives us the certificate to a job and doesn't really teach us anything.I love how your grandma poured out things to you and i can see that all that she taught you has made you the very person she wanted you to be.
Great and lovely post. Keep it up

Thanks for your kind words. And so right: School teachers you how to obey, how to fit into a society that cares about monetary value alone. And even though that's the case, they never teach you about taxes and such and how to practically deal with it. I am glad, most of us have some loving grandparents who taught us better.

Yea... We really do. And no matter the school one goes on earth the person is still trained first when he gets the job..... Lol

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Love your adventures with your grandma! I hope I can be even a half of what she was if I ever have grandchildren.

My grandma didn't live with us, but she often had us when we we're too ill for school and we'd drop in after school until our parents came home from work. After school, she'd allow us to have 3 biscuits and no more, so we didn't spoil our appetite for tea.